XXIV/XXX. Outside

Her insides are not the reflection of what is outside.

Outside, like everyone else, she wears a facade with a smile drawn upon her lips. She hates her lips, though. It's not pouty, but it's not sexy thin either, it's just... there, under her nose. She hates her hair too, it's too fuzzy and unable to be tamed, so sometimes she just pulls it into a tight bun and let her body looks like it's bigger than it actually is. She hates her body too, especially her skin, it looks unhealthily, lifelessly pale and dry. So, she does not know what to do with herself. Her insides are breaking down into million pieces too, like unexplainable little pieces of leaves that you often see when you sit down on the ground, squished and fallen apart. Often her lips try to say beautiful words, but as it turns out, those beautiful words are swallowed by her need to be silent and mysterious. Cutting herself sometimes comes to her mind, but no, she cannot do that, she has dreams that are bigger than the demons inside her head. She hates facing the lackluster reality, that's why she does something that is destructible to her insides, not to her physical features. She would often abuse herself in ways that will hurt her head even more. But how to face the demons, when they are more alluring than the angels?