Archive for January 2012

Pure

Monday, January 9, 2012 Comments Off

I've always been fond of the rain. The static temporary stillness that the rain graced by just being there. All outdoor activities gradually stops, paying their respect to something bigger than human beings, saluting the mother nature. Perhaps, mothers still taking care of their children, fathers still doing their jobs, some grandmothers still mourning for the lost of their love life, some kids still trying to steal cookies before dinnertime and some lonely people still hoping when the rain can bring some miracles to their tiny, what they seemed, insignificant lives. Rain has such an enigmatic power that can reduce us to our simplest form of emotions, to reduce us into something trivial, to remind us that there is something more gigantic and more important than us, like the mother nature.


Some find blessings under the rain. Some find mistakes. Nevertheless, the mysterious divine strength behind ordinary weather is quite life-changing. The rain has also another trick on its sleeve when it comes to melancholy, nostalgia, pensive musings, it can find the most sorrowful memory or the most euphoric moments in your life, grip them tight and watch them fall apart around you, making your being reminded of the presence of the past again and again. Forgotten terrible mistakes can be recalled again in front of your eyes, like you are there again. The dark monsters and the empty nightmares are there again, lurking, poking about and laughing at your fear because it manifests itself from your profound, yet unexplainable, frights. Nevertheless, there are some happiness, or perhaps sentimental, feeling about the rain, how it can remind you of the sweet sound of your lovers' laugh when they were dancing in the rain with you, how it can make you miss your grandmother's hot honeyed tea, how it can make you sing the old tunes you thought you forgot and how it can make you cherish the days you once knew. I suppose the rain can do all that because it is, undeniably, unquestionably and scientifically-approved, basic form of every being in the whole world. Hydrogen and Oxygen.

Flight Part II

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“And well, he was lying there, bandages everywhere, but awake. Completely sober. He smiled at me and called my name gently. I thought my heart could explode just because he called my name. I smiled back and asked him how he knew my name, he only smiled, up until now I still don’t know how he knew me. I thought he didn’t even know I exist, but it was the contrary.” she paused for awhile, eating her beef.

“He apologized for bothering me and he thanked me for bringing me to the hospital. When I asked for the first time, he told me it was because there was a party went wrong, but I knew better, there was no party, I didn’t say anything, though. I quickly said a goodbye because I needed to go home then. He nodded and thanked me again,”

She stopped for awhile, eating her food and drinking her tea. When she was finished, she continued.
“That night I was screaming in my room because I got closer to the boy that I loved. I utterly loved, that I still love. And on the same night, he texted me, thanked me again and asked me how was school that day. We began texting each other since then, but I knew he didn’t have any feelings whatsoever for me. After awhile, I began to think of him as an unattainable person, although he didn’t have any girlfriends, because he was too… private, but still, he was my best friend and I knew something more about him than anybody else. I felt blessed. One day, when he was bruised all over, I promised myself to be someone that could heal him, physically and mentally, that could mend him, you know. I didn’t care if I’ll never be his wife, but at least I could save him, I could make him happy. But of course, he decided to marry me and I went into a dilemma because if I chose to be with him, I would live in a lie with someone that I love because I know he doesn’t love me back, but if I didn’t choose to be with him, well… there goes my chance to be with someone I love.”

They paid the bill and then went strolling the garden.

“Where was I? Oh… well, of course, I chose to be his wife. He may not love me, but at least I tried my best to make him happy. There’s nothing more that I love more than his smile, his happiness. I’ll do anything as long as he’s happy.”

“So, why aren’t you with him right now?” he asked while putting her closer to his body to prevent more cold penetrating her body.
She looked up at him. How she wanted to kiss him then, but she knew it was not him. Although this
man next to her was definitely looked like him, but it was not him. She could not kiss his twin brother just because she missed her husband. The man next to her, although he looked exactly the same, was not the man she was falling in love with. He was not the man who she gave all of herself to. He was not him.

“He can survive without me. I mean… he’s happier without me.” she said softly.
“How do you know?” he asked, his voice was a bit rough from the cold she thought.
She smiled at him with tears on her eyes and she promptly hugged him. “I’m a burden.”
“Please come back home, I know you don’t want to do this.”
She shook her head violently. “I can’t follow you back home, I mean… I can’t do this anymore, I’m a burden to him. Besides, the deal was you follow me here to protect me and help me find a job, I can’t come back.”
“Please?” he whispered.
She cried even more. Her tears soaked his shirt.
“Wife, please come home with me. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” he chanted.
“Sean?” she asked, looking up from his chest. She could see his eyes were watering and he nodded briefly. She cried harder and burried herself in his chest.
“Come home. John needs you. Joanna needs you. I need you. Come back home. Please? I can’t. I fucking can’t imagine how I live without… come home please” he screamed.
“You don’t nee—”
“I need you. I need you more than I need myself. I love you so much. Please, please, please don’t ever leave me. Come home please.” he said while holding her tightly. “Please.”
She nodded and he showered her face with kisses. “Promise you won’t leave?”
She nodded again.
“Let’s go home.”

Flight Part I

Wednesday, January 4, 2012 Comments Off

Her soft hair brushed his bare neck, her head barely reached his chin. He rubbed his chin on top of her head and kissed it gently. She sighed happily to his chest and hugged him even tighter. He held her possesively, his right hand encircled her waist and his left was around her shoulders. His eyes lit up when the fireworks began to explode in the sky. Upon hearing the sound, she turned her body halfway and rested her hand on his waist.
“Happy fifteenth anniversary, Mrs. Tobb.” he whispered to her forehead.
She smiled sheepishly to his chest. “Indeed, husband, indeed.”
One of her hand placed gently upon his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heart. Her eyes no longer focused on the firewoks, instead it was upon her simple gold wedding ring with square-cut diamond on her finger. She kept turning it around and around and around, each time she felt the engraved words inside the ring, without even peering inside she knew the words, “You are loved”.
To the people around them and to him, she looked like a woman who was nostalgic, swirls of memories passed her mind, especially when she gazed at her ring lovingly. One man knew better, though. The man, with the same height as him, was standing merely ten feet from them, gazing at her longingly. The man was holding a glass of Champagne and his parner.


“Are you ready?”
The man nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Then let’s go.”
“Remind me our plane again?”
“It’s on your ticket.”
“Oh yeah, right.”
She laughed heartily and then stopped.
“What?” the man asked.
“You remind me of him…”
The man rubbed her back gently. “There there…”

The man and her arrived at the hotel around dinner time. They quickly checked themselves in. He was quite suprised when he found out they got their own rooms, with a questioning look from her, they went to put their luggages on their respective rooms after promising to meet each other at the restaurant to eat dinner together.
After showering and dressing up, she went downstairs. She greeted the man with a polite smile. They both quickly found a table and sat on the chairs at the same time. She frowned a bit, remembering her spouse always pulled out a chair for her first, but she quickly shook her head, she could not compare the man in front of her with her husband, because they are different people.
“What is it?” he asked.
She smiled briefly. After the waitress came and gave them menus. “Nothing. So, what are we going to eat?”
“I’ve never been in this restaurant actually, you pick.” he said while scanning his menu.
She nodded. “I’m going to have roast beef and ice tea.”
“I’ll order the same.” he said to the waitress.
The waitress nodded and then left them both.
“So…” he began.
She raised her eyebrows at him.
“Spill your beans.”
He looked at her with pleading eyes and she finally nodded. “Fine, but don’t ever tell this to anyone. Ever.”
“Cross my heart and hope to be rich.”
She laughed a bit. “You already are.”
“Well…?”
“Yes. Where to start? The beginning? Fine. He was my childhood crush. My first love. He was famous and I was a simple nobody. One day, one fine afternoon, when I was seventeen and he was twenty-two, I was driving my car when I was him lying there, face down. I was passionately curious back then, so I stopped my car and nudged his shoulder but he wouldn’t budge. I turned him over and he was bleeding from his head to his chest. I shook his body, I wanted to call his name but I was afraid that he would think of me as a weird stalker, which indeed I was. I decided to take him to the hospital and so I did. I paid for his charges and when I was finished with the papers, I got called to go to his room,” she took a deep breath and drank her ice tea.
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