Archive for September 2013

2023: True 01

Saturday, September 21, 2013 Comments Off

True opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling for a brief moment. And then she turned her head, smiling at the sight.

A little boy was sleeping soundly next to her. His eyelashes were curled naturally on top of his cheeks. His thick pink lips were opened slightly. His dark blonde mop of hair was tousled because of the tossing and turning during the night. He was so exhausted yesterday because of all the runnings and the crying he did during his first class. Her cute button-nosed son fell asleep the instant he reached her bed.

True turned to her right and sighed, her husband had yet to come home.

Phi Phi Island this time, he said. It was not far from their resident country, but it was still too far for her to just phone him to come back home in the next few minutes. She knew he had to work, it was where his passion lied, but she still wished that she could have him home at times. But being the wife of a big shot television documentary persona, she could not be whiny, even though at times she had to deal with her Liam acting out because he missed his dad.

One day, she was asked by her supervisor to publish a special documentary about the lives of the local Thai people, especially the ones in Phuket. As the most junior in the entertainment business, especially in daytime television, she was the first one to be "sacrificed" and she was obliged to go to Phuket for a whole month in order to shoot the documentary. She flew to Phuket with only clothes on her back, some IDs and few necessary details about the people who were picking her up in the international airport.

When she landed, the first face she saw, apart from the random forgettable local people, was his. He was smiling brightly and holding up a sign with her name on it. Wearing a short-sleeved tropical shirt and short khakis, he looked like a lost foreigner, while in fact, he probably knew the place better than the locals. Greeting her with a giant smug, he took some of her luggages and led her to the parking lot.

As it turned out, there were only the two of them. The idea of the documentary was true and proper documentary, where people actually shoot without script; not the same kind that those people called "reality show". The documentary was pure, handheld, no editing apart from the lighting, and was aired at the same day it was shot.

During that whole month, when they were not on air, he taught her everything he knew, and in return, she gave him the attention she needed while occasionally making him home cooked meals that he often craved during his travels all around the world.

Then, love set in, like unplanned beautiful sunsets they captured during the trip.

And seven years later, here she was, with her cute little man waiting for her other man to come home. Slowly rising up from her bed, she started her day.

After heading out to the kindergarten and dropping Liam off, she went straight to her office and started working on her latest script for a certain talk show that she was supervising. The script only needed some touchings here and there, however, she couldn't help but feel like there was something missing with it. Tinkering a few paragraphs here and there, she tied her hair, an obvious sign that she was thinking and fighting ideas with herself inside her head.

She was so engrossed with her work, she almost forgot that she had a special lunch date with her siblings who just jumped in to the working life. A small smile was placed upon her lips. They were so eager to grow up, they sometimes forgot that their sibling and their parents were growing old. In spite all of that, she still loved her younger brother and sister. Now that they were living in the same country after the twins decided that they would find better job there, they often had special lunch date where the three of them would just talk about anything and everything during their extended lunch time.

They were going to have lunch at this new cafe that her brother discovered during one of his hiatus in-between jobs days. It was a snug little place with extended selection of coffee, tea and finger foods that the three siblings loved. True was secretly liking the idea of having a cafe of her own that she could pass on to Liam, but not right now. These days, her focus was only divided into two: her family life and her job. To have something else that needed constant attention would only lead her to permanent insanity.

When she arrived at the cafe, her inseparable siblings were already sitting there, gulping their favourite drinks and taking few mouthful bites of bitterballen. True apologised instantly because of her lack of attention to her surroundings when she was working on something.

"Have you guys ordered me lunch?" she promptly asked.
The youngest of them, Gwen, smiled at her sister. "Yes. Your favourite, of course."
"Thank you." True gave them a genuine smile. "How's everything? Tell me. How's ma and pa?"
Gwen's smiled faltered. "Ma's not doing so great, True. Last time we were home, her blood sugar is rising up again. Have you spoke to her lately?"
True bit her bottom lip. The last talk she had with her mother ended up with her holding up the phone first because of her mother's incessant chatter about having a sibling for Liam. It was still a sore topic for her since she had miscarried two years after she had Liam. Sighing loudly, she shook her head. "Haven't, Gwen. She yelled at me to get another baby, but it's still hard for us, for me."
Craig smiled reassuringly and took True's hands. "It's okay, sis. We understand. We love you the same. How's Liam? Haven't seen the cutest teacup human since last month. Why didn't you take him with you?"
"He's having a blast lately since his crush, Anna, likes him back. She gave him some candy last week. So, I'm currently in no position to drag him away from school even though sometimes I just want to."
Gwen laughed and Craig chuckled. "Obviously. Anything new?"
"I'm pregnant and Raleigh does not know." True blurted.
The black-haired twins had the same expression on their head; mouth hanging open. Craig was the first one who recovered, he replied, "How far along are you?"
True sighed. "Almost six weeks."
"So you already has it even a month before he left?" asked the buttoned-nose sister.
True could do a quick nod. After a short while, she proceeded to talk about the reason behind it: Raleigh didn't want to have another kid.

True just finished making dinner when she received a text message
"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?

2023: Rosie 01

Tuesday, September 10, 2013 Comments Off

"Sir, you have a two-hour lunch today at the Hilton with Mr. Jacob from MacKenzie, Lucas and Jacob. After that meetings with Mr. Walt, Ms. Nikki and Ms. Bennet at 3 pm, 4 pm, and 5 pm, respectively. And then dinner with Alejandro at 7 pm. I've booked a table at the Savoy, don't worry, sir. Alejandro has given me a hint that you should wear that Armani dark grey tux with the charcoal Italian shoes, because it's a waltz night." she informed.
The ex-model CEO chuckled quietly. "Has your friend always been this lovely?"
Rosie whipped back her thick long hair and smiled to the magazine mogul. "Of course, Mr. Winger. Since college he has always planned everything in detail, down to the colour of his undies."
"Good to know, Rosalie. How about you, what are you going to do tonight? It's valentine's day after all." asked her chiseled-face boss.
The woman that embodied secretary pretended to think for awhile, when she knew what she was going to do that night. "Dinner with Walt, of course. Don't know where, but he said it'd be fabulous."
"How's your Rosie's Roast? Still up and running?"
Rosie nodded eagerly. "Yes, It's been doing well. Thanks for asking. I may not have a kid, but that shop is my true baby."
"Yeah, Alejandro told me. Now get back to your desk, I don't want those people to start asking question about us."
The matriarch woman laughed and started to walk away. "Like they would believe you can cheat from Alejandro with me. They'd found my body in the back of an alley if you ever do."

Rosie had lied.

It was not the first time she had lied to people, but it was the first time she had ever lied to her boss. To Alexander. To Alejandro's Alexander. To her close friend's partner--almost husband, from what she had heard. It was a big deal. Keeping something from Alexander meant that she also had to keep secret from Alejandro. And for her, it was something that did not come easily. She may never told her friends about everything, but she could never be able to hide something this big.

Rosie actually had a daughter. Her name was Louise, after her previous husband's wife that died of cancer. Her previous husband had already died due to a plane crash several years ago when Louise was only two. Now that Louise was almost six, she often questioned her mother the whereabout of her dad. Asking her insistently why Darcy was not her actual dad. Asking why she had two dads.

Gazing at the framed picture of Louise looking to the camera with her pair of doe blue eyes and small pouty lips, she sighed. It was another thing that she lied to Alex. No one in her current life knew about the existence of Darcy. Of how Darcy had taken over the father role, albeit sporadically and without clear or constant schedule the way parents shared their custody over kids. It was not like that at all. It was, in fact, as if Darcy was Louise's uncle; being present in Louise's life but without being involved too much. Darcy and her never shared a house, but she constantly shared Louise with him when she could not handle her only offspring or could not take care of her properly, she would take Louise to his place and ask Darcy to look after little Louise. Louise never minded much, she loved her Darcy. Darcy was fun, she would always say to her mother. Darcy always showed her magic tricks and baked her sweet sugarless cookies. He would take her to places that her mother would never take her to. And he would treat her ice creams! With toppings. Another thing that her mother never allowed her to take.

But Louise could never understand why Darcy was in Rosie's life in the first place. Rosie told her daughter that she met Darcy long ago, when she was just a little girl, on the verge of growing up but not yet growing old like she was right now. It was during the times when girls were looking for boyfriends and Rosie found one.

To Rosie, and to some extent little Louise, Darcy was a patriarch figure without the neediness and presence of a father that constantly bored his child. Rosie needed that kind of presence since she was a matriarch figure to all, but she was not one for herself. She wanted someone that could be her for her. And he was exactly that, even though the way life stitched him more awful than the way life stitched her.

But what life had stitched her together, he tore it apart. He broke her open and put her together again the way he knew best. The same way he put himself together. Awful, everyone thought that way, since he was obviously was more complex and scarred than her. Nevertheless, it was the way she lived, the way she coped. Life could tear her apart, tear them apart from each other, but death could never do that. Death was something that was taboo for her. Something that would not destroy them as it would never exist to her. Grief over him was something that she would not witness or experience in her lifetime. Grief of losing him to the death's loving and calming embrace would never happen to her. It was something of taboo.

Her previous husband, Chuck, accepted that. He accepted the idea that there was someone that was more important than him; that she needed someone more than him. As he did the same to her too, loving the older Louise as if she was the essence of his very soul; Rosie sometimes thought she was because she could tell that Chuck was just a shell of what a person should be. Maybe that was why she agreed to marry Chuck, apart from the part that both of them needed a legacy, needed to feel like they were needed by an innocent soul that had not been tainted by the destructions and cruelty that they both witnessed daily. Someone that could be their own personal redemption if they raised them right. Someone like little Louise.

However, Rosie knew that she had to live in the present. With Chuck long gone, she needed to feel like she was wanted by someone again. Walt came into her life through Alex. Walt wanted her in the way even Chuck had never been able to utter. It was pure want and lust. She did not mind that. Walt wasn't innocent, either. He was another scheming leech, but an insanely rich leech that could provide her with luxurious life she used to have with Chuck. Paid her vacations with Louise. Invested in Rosie's Roasted.

It was wrong, she knew. To use someone that way. But this was her life now. She had grown. She had to stay strong, at least for Louise. It was not something that she wanted, she would never dream her life had turned this way so dramatically and drastically, but she could never be selfish now. She had Louise. And she had to face reality and slap it on the face while wearing a pair of blood red stilettos.

Her smartphone rang. The smartphone that Alex had given to her on her birthday. Darcy was on the caller ID.
"Happy valentine's day, kiddo." he greeted.
Rosie could only smile half-heartedly to her phone. "You too. And happy birthday."
"Shoot, I'm 31, aren't I? I'm getting old." he said.
"Of course. I'm almost 31, too, you know." she replied. "Who are you going to spend your Valentine's Day with? I heard all the fancy restaurants are booked."
"Who says I'm gonna spend my Valentine's Day in a boring restaurant? I'm at the hospital!" he answered smoothly.
"You're what?!"
"I'm having an open-heart surgery in about fifteen minutes, this is why I'm telling you. No worries, Drew's gonna be here. He abandoned his case just to be here with me. Ain't he a nice brother?"
"Venice Hospital. Don't worry your pretty little head, I'm gonna be fine. Oh, and Louise is at my mother's. I think she is spoiling Louise like she is the granddaughter she'd never have. But, to come and think about it, she actually almost is, isn't she? With me still single and Drew is shooting blanks, Louise is her only chance to spoil someone that isn't Drew or me, or even you. But don't tell my mum, she doesn't know why I asked her to babysit Louise. The doctor is already here, by the way. So, adios."

Rosie hated Darcy with all her guts right now. She had never met anyone that was as selfish as him. He was selfish for not telling her this, not to make her at least felt like she was prepared for him if he left her. Not to make Louise felt like she was prepared for being left by her only patriarch role model. He could do whatever he liked, but not leaving her and Louise all alone. Just the same way Louise's father left them. It could not be. She could never be prepared. Death won't be something that can make him escape from her presence. Death was not something on their journey together. It just would not fit.

Rosie immediately asked to be dismissed for the rest of the day. She had to pick up Louise and go straight to the hospital, she could care less about what she was supposed to wear and where she was supposed to be tonight with Walt. She could never have him leave her this way.

As she hurriedly walked to the elevator, she met someone that she needed the most at time like this. A friend.

Five Kinds I've Witnessed, None I've Experienced

Wednesday, September 4, 2013 Comments Off

This summer I learned that there are many kinds of love. The kinds that I won't experience, the kinds that hurt others and the kinds that we keep to ourselves. These love aren't necessary ideal for everyone, and they are not even sacred. But they are real and still as precious as the kinds we were taught to know.

The first kind, poisonous love: the kind that smothers you, the kind that is undoubtedly self-destructive and killing you from the inside. It hugs you and perhaps turns into you, leaving your true soul as a ghost that inhabits your physical form. You are not dead inside, but you are surely dying, day by day. This love consumes you, makes you thirsty for more, for more love to give away, the same love that tears you apart. Your soul and your whole being are tied to this love, to a person that may never love you back or even sympathise over your darkening soul. This love needs to be destructed completely or it will succeed to overtake your being.

The second kind, eternal love: can be poisonous or tame, but this love will always be there, evolving over time and space. Fluctuates easily with you, conditions itself to how you live your life.

The third kind, never be: no matter how much you try to work it out, it can never be yours. Or perhaps, in some normal definitive cases, it's not even yours to begin with and you never try to connect with that object of your affection. Because sometimes, it is what making it exciting. It becomes sacred, beautiful, ethereal, eternal because you never act upon it. You just sit there, watch that person exists, orbiting near you or sometimes far away. One of the purest kinds there is. And perhaps, you know that the love you hold on that person will cease to exist if you try to work it.

The fourth kind, false love: you actually forgot who you love. It does not evolve, it stays that way since the beginning; but it can also never be, because people evolve--you and that other person.

The fifth kind: recurring love: like a favourite extra on a tv series, this love will only work if the object of your affection is there.
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