Monday, February 20, 2017 Comments Off
Sunday, January 8, 2017 § 0
The subject of this survey (from henceforth will be referred as "the subject") is expected to answer the following questions below with complete honesty and a minimum of ten words for each answer. The subject is not allowed to answer each questions using quotes from movies/tv series/literature piece/magazines/advertisements or any other copyrighted items. The subject is given an hour to complete this survey.
- What is it about romantic love that everyone wants to taste?
- Who branded romantic love so well that it is marketable? To what purpose?
- Are we only going to feel romantic love through the means of screens?
- Are we inherently seeking for romantic love, or are we only doing it because it is branded all over the world?
- Is romantic love a special set of skills that only few people have? If so, is it nature or nurture?
- Is romantic love only great if it is a shared experience? If so, why? If not, why?
- Do you think you deserve romantic love? If so, why? If not, why?
- Romantic love is___
- Romantic love is necessary for/to___
orRomantic love is unnecessary for/to___
- I was taught/informed by___ that romantic love is___ why it sticks to me and I think it is true because___
I came up with my own idea of romantic love because___
- I have experienced/I am currently experiencing romantic love before and to me it felt/feels__
I have never experienced romantic love before and I imagine it feels like___
- If I have an option, I would like to have a romantic love which___
- My life would be more complete if romantic love is/not in it because___
- Romantic love is better than/worse than/similar with platonic love because___
- Romantic love has/has not let me down before because of its inability/ability to___
- The reason why I feel/felt romantic love towards___ is/was because___
The reason why I've never felt romantic love is because___
- The world would be better/worse/the same if romantic love is experienced by everyone because___
Friday, December 23, 2016 Comments Off
I found this a bit funny because people reacted differently whenever I told them that I was about to go out alone, or whenever I told them that I was alone somewhere enjoying my book or writing something or getting my papers done or even just window shopping. The emotions they displayed ranges from surprised and disbelief, though the two of them are not the most extreme. The reactions that I receive always showcases the true nature of their personality.
What is it about being alone that makes people think about loneliness and separation from the cluster of society?
Being alone is supposed to feel liberating. You are allowed to be and feel none other than you are during that particular time and space. You are permitted to use whatever it is in your disposal as means for you to accomplish whatever it is you have in mind during that moment, including not doing anything. You do not have to worry about anything but consuming time. There is no one that could nag you or drag you around. It is a moment where you suppose to enjoy your longtime companion, yourself. The only downside is that you have no one to share with.
Maybe it's also because I grew up differently. Looking back, I am relieved to have experienced certain things in certain ways since I have turned out to be the exact person that I need for myself. I found comfort and companionship being alone, though not necessarily the entire time. My past built me into this person that do not turn away the chances of being alone, the person that actually looks forward to being alone and immerses herself in the situation. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting up with people and sharing everything with them, yet there is particular kind of peace that I crave whenever I've spent days interacting with people.
Currently, true to my nature, I am writing in a well-known coffee shop while drinking an iced cappuccino. Cliche, I know. But this is where I blossom best; where my thoughts are synchronized and not wandering unintentionally. Maybe this is how you define my comfort zone because it's a place that I run back to whenever I want to feel safe and secure: by myself behind a laptop, writing something while people watching. But this is also my greatest weakness. I have come to rely on myself so much that I do not find the concept of other people leading my life for me a pleasant one. My lone journey is still incomplete.
However, this is not saying that I love being lonely. Being alone and being lonely are two different concepts; though both give us equal meaning of feeling estranged, the first one is felt by choice while the second one comes to you inadvertently. I have found myself in the two situations, both simultaneously and separately.
It's difficult to write about being lonely. The first thing that came in mind was "what kind" and "how come". There are different types of loneliness, and I intend to write about that since I have felt most kind of loneliness. We will see how it turns out. Since, after all, loneliness is a terribly unexpected visitor that knocks in the door in inopportune times. It has been a guest in my mind and in my heart for a very, very long time.
I don't think it has ever, or it will ever, left.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016 Comments Off
I have always thought that being in your twenty means that you have solved everything in your life. Surely navigating life's tumultuous circumstances would be easy by now since you are legally labeled as an adult after all. Yet, that is not the case at all with current young generation, though calling it current young generation seems like distancing myself from the collective.
This young generation know too much, experience events too soon, overqualified for the listed jobs, and yet, we have to survive under the terms that have been set forth by the people before us. A nightmare for the minds whose needs are to be more than settling in to the life that has been paved by the ones who preceded them. The minds who crave to be more and reach further. With full heart, headful of knowledge, we will never be satisfied with only desk job with passive and slow career path.
We are qualified in terms of adaptability in the modern world, adjusting ourselves to the lives of technology and advanced science; to a life of infinite knowledge and fast-paced information. The life of extreme taking and giving.
But not everything can catch up with the updates, with the knowledge and information and technology. The majority of life is still moving in its own pace; eloquent, slow, but deliberate. The majority of the industry is still trying to revive itself after looking itself in the mirror and seeing something ancient and replaceable; gathering bits of energy and resource to compete with its more current counterpart. What are they expecting if they do not feel like they are not compelled to change.
Not only the industry, the people working behind it are also still trying to smoothly sail the riotous path that is the future. Everyone, regardless everything that builds them as their identity, is questioning where life is heading when everything is delivered in an instant period and consumed within the same course. The world is pulling us apart, trying to disconnect us from the past while throwing us to the unknown future without any warning. Not one person is exempted from this.
This unknown and the fear of it is shared by many, something that, simultaneously, distances and connects us.
Monday, December 12, 2016 Comments Off
she disappeared before winter. the sun was no longer shining brightly, but her skin was still glowing
in tan, in amber, in sweet bloom. a testament to her tropical ancestor.
no longer here, we sought her presence, trying to look for the tropical beauty that was
her soul, her marred and marked soul.
stations after stations we looked after her, questioning everyone and even our own sanity,
was she really there? did we produce shared fantasy of a soul wrapped up in silky tresses and glowing skin?
we were greeted by weeks of collecting stories from eyewitnesses that saw a woman with an honest smile and exotic kindness
act II (the odyssey):
the days went by, slowly. as if the universe was not supporting us in our feat. the longer the day gets
the longer she was missing. seconds stretched on longer than necessary.
we shared the tales of loving her and how it came to be when we fell for her; these were the ways
we conjured her. these were the ways she was alive without her being present.
to the north, the eyewitnesses say, to the north.
how much farther to the north do we need to be until the sky was brightened by her personality again
how much farther until all we got of her is no longer the longing
how much farther until her
the farther we go, it seems, the harder to catch her
act III (the investigation):
it was winter solstice when we caught a glimpse of her. the holidays season. everything was grey,
befitting to the unhappiness that we felt after getting by without her.
we wanted to greet her. our sun, in the north.
oh such woe, we wallowed. the closest we were with her, the farthest we feel. how could she do this,
going farther away from us, farther away from her home, farther away from
the ones that had been nurturing her.
there, suddenly someone said. pointing at a secluded cafe. we could see her holding a cup of coffee
and our hearts in her nimble hands.
what was she doing in this perpetual frost? didn't she know that her heart beat in the same way
the leaves sing in the forest and the ocean greet the beach in the summer?
why would she escape from her precursor? from the lives that were passed on to her through genetics? was there a better home than her past? could she assemble better life than the one that had been presented by her ancestor?
act IV (the answer):
the questions disappeared altogether when we saw her properly:
in a nest she called home, in a situation she called comfort, in a scenery she called familiarity
in a life she called her own
no one should have denied her any of this
Tuesday, October 25, 2016 Comments Off
When I was a kid, my mother told me that I was still lacking in certain places, that my mental still have a lot to improve. I dedicated my life into trying to improve myself, all the while being oppressed into thinking that I should be more, I should act better, and I should not seek love unless I'm improved in terms of likability, and allurement, and relatability. People forced me into thinking that I am not worthy of love unless I am bettered. I was pushed to suppress myself, to bully myself, to distance myself from myself; causing love lost between me, my body, and my mind.
All in all, I still cannot think of myself as enough.
Friday, October 21, 2016 Comments Off
Is there any way to tell how a person should stay satisfied even if there is constant hunger plaguing their spirit and mind? Even if there is a certain kind of primal idea inside their mind telling them to find something more, to be something further. How to tell someone that you have to stave off the demand of the mind (far too riddled even for self) and the heart (far too damaged from the ache) for a state of person (or perhaps any other form thereof) to be changed according to what is considered sacred and true for the soul?
Wayward, we are, honey. Disbelieving the spoken and written principles that were spewed from the mouths of the ignorant and the not-understanding. Unable to comprehend all the supposed lessons coming from the metaphorical sticks and stones. Unwilling to let go whatever it is that has been wildly calling our veins, mesmerizing our minds, and desperately clawing on the walls of our thumping heart. Distrusting the hand-me-down happiness that they always give out to each other.
There is no way the only option for keeping on is through scavenging myself.
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