Archive for May 2016

Modern Romance

Monday, May 30, 2016 Comments Off

Proposal Scheme

Title: Modern Romance
Project participant(s): Her (female, early twenties) and Him (male, late twenties).
Length of Project: undeterminable
Executive Summary: A woman, proposing a modern romance scheme for a man, whom she currently likes but knows she can never seriously be with.
Tags: modern, romance, female, male, proposal scheme, undetermined length

The former subject would kindly like the latter subject know that she has a good intention for kindling modern romance between the two of them. The reason why she opts for modern romance instead of the traditional one is because the former type offers intimacy without the necessity of commitment. The female subject has observed for the past months that the male subject currently does not seek out any form of companionship with another person(s), therefor, it has come to her attention that modern romance relationship would be suitable for both of the subjects. Furthermore, the female subject has noticed that there are some sparks (i.e. romantic chemistry) between them which could be a good base to build a modern romantic relationship with.

In order to clarify the meaning of modern romance, the female subject has defined modern romance as the kind of romance that does not conform into the normativity which its traditional counterpart often accommodate. In this particular case, the female subject offers a type of romantic relationship in which both parties could have the advantages of companionship (i.e. any kind that both deem as appropriate, significant, and/or necessary) which includes, but not limited to, intimacy, respect, support, and appreciation, without the essential requirement of long term commitment and serious attitude towards the performance of the relationship. Upon entering this relationship, each party could give support in whichever way they can, including dates, late night phone calls, or back rubs; this particular issue will be discussed when the time comes.

Beside the obvious fact that this relationship would effectively satiate skinhunger, the other advantage of modern romantic relationship is the lack of long term commitment between both parties. It is to be seen as an advantage due to both parties inability to permanently commit with one another based on various significant reasons. Nonetheless, the female subject finds that both parties could benefit from the relationship, even if it does not last as long as the usual traditional romantic relationship.

It will be known to each party that they cannot expect anything other than a short term relationship which would last as long as both parties consent to it, however, the female subject kindly propose that the relationship would last until her leaving for postgraduate degree. Aside from the aforementioned factor (re: female subject getting her postgraduate degree), there are also numerous other significant matters that add up to the impossibility of transgressing the established relationship between both subjects into something much more.

The main reason as to why the female subject finds the male subject suitable for the project is because, principally, she finds him appealing and has been interested in getting to know him better ever since she laid eyes on him. The female subject would like the readers to acknowledge a few good reasons why she finds him captivating. Reason number one, the male subject is one of the few men that could initiate conversation without having it seem to be cumbersome, assertive, and/or unwanted. The second reason is that he has given her attention in the most delightful way; as opposed to inquire her personal information in an intrusive manner, he often asks with child-like and genuine wonderment, which leads to the following reason, he listens and remembers. Surely the female subject has been approached by a few good men before, however, not many has been able to actually pay attention to her, especially to the remarks that she does not directly say to them. Another reason is that she finds her to be at ease with him, enough to share inside jokes. Should the readers find the need for more reasons, please contact her privately.

In conclusion, the female subject currently finds that she could use some companionship from the male subject, should he agree. Simply, she has found that he is a suitable candidate for something as important, though some might say fleeting, as this modern romantic relationship.

Note: The subject of romantic love, however, will not be stated in any of the agreement due to the pristine and fragile thing known to the humankind as the heart. Both parties can be subjected to romantic love even if they do not admit and/or accept it. Further discussion about romantic love should be held by both parties in order to decide whether or not the relationship should be continued. As opposed to the subject of romantic love, the only rule about sexual conducts between both parties is the activities should be consensual. The female party even encourages any kind of skinship between them to satisfy the hunger of touch as reassuring, comforting, romantic, or even sexual gestures. Nevertheless, the relationship should terminate immediately if one of the parties does not give any kind of consent to the sexual advances formed by the other party.

Update: the female subject has found out that the male subject does not view her in the same way which she views him. The project is terminated until further notice.

Absolutely Not a Love Story

Thursday, May 12, 2016 Comments Off

I discovered that he is a lot taller than I had previously thought, making him abundant more intimidating, yet less kissable. His now-recognisable scent lingers around me every time we part; his fragrance wafts lovely in the air, gently kissing the tips of my hair and the lapels of my coat. Everything about him is new, yet there is a certain kind of familiarity about him that echoes and rings in the corners of my brain.

Maybe in a sense, he is the epitome of everything that I have always known before. Something safe, easily approachable, yet a proper individual in his own way. There is a right amount of mysterious air around him, although I cannot be sure whether or not the enigmatic aspect about him is intentional and elaborate, and his elusive behaviour baffles everyone to the point that his indecisiveness and vagueness add up to his reclusive persona. Though to be clear, he is not as appealing as I have written because he is, for the most part, normal; but not normal enough to be just another faceless figure in the background of a lush movie. Furthermore, he does not puzzle me in a similar way which a proper kind of taciturn tall, dark, stranger type of character could illicit your curiosity. He is, simply, a man. A man that, at times, is fun to be with, even though I can't seriously take his words due to his indecisiveness.

But, in all seriousness, it is fun to finally find someone to like—someone that I can adore because of his actions, someone that I can flirt harmlessly with, someone that I can look forward to meet with, and someone I can joke around with. Not necessarily someone that I will settle down with, obviously, with his inability to be dependable; but it helps alleviate my craving for inside jokes and cute banter between a person of opposite gender. A tiny sip of water to quench my thirst.

We are both generously limited only to the act of talking with each other on the spot, though I haven't got any idea if it was otherwise. This act of liking someone, without actually having to be romantically entangled with him and all the while recognising his flaws, has been missing from my life since quite a while. And it is, as I've said, a familiar and comforting feeling—partly deceiving the longing in my veins that have been imperceptibly singing the song of the swan for the past years. Lately the song has turned into somewhat cheerful, though it has kept its dark disposition, and it is absolutely not a love song. Still, it is a rather welcomed change.

Aside from the statistic and scientific fact that I could never have someone that I want to want me back—which in this case is him—there is also another numerous factors that make me impossible to be with him romantically, although, surprisingly, age is not a problem in this particular case even though I had always thought that the first proper man that I like would be older than the stars. To be absolutely honest, I am writing about this not because I want to have sympathy or pity, but rather to share with you the giddiness and childishness of liking someone; a feeling some people have forgotten since they are too busy being serious. And I am honestly looking for days of us being together, without actually having us to be together.

And I feel grateful, since it is nearing Summer, and everything is supposed to be in bloom.

Feelings, too.

[pic by Rowan Fraser-Taylor]

Andi, Part III

Monday, May 9, 2016 Comments Off

Before there was a "you and I", there was one thing that bonded us together.


We were both stuck in a situation that we could no longer cope with—perhaps, stuck is not an appropriate word to express what we experienced back in the day because we consented to the situation we were in. It was more in a sense that we had to settle down with the choice that we took years ago. Though, reflecting back, had the circumstances we were in was different, we would not seek solace in each other; we wouldn't need a momentary pause, a soft gap, between the inevitability of our chosen realities. But, that was then. Now?

Now, we have each other.

Everything is more vivid—colours are more pronounced, new songs discovered everyday, sleeping is no longer necessary, and feelings are louder. Oh wow, I have never thought that feelings could be this intense. Missing someone has never felt like you could explode, even after having him in my arms. Maybe this is what they say about sharing a life with someone, he embodies your soul too. We both unearth feelings that were previously undiscovered. We familiarise each others' patterns, including hidden shapes of our birthmarks. Everything is bliss. Normalcy seems foreign now, especially sleeping alone. Contours of our bodies have somewhat adjusted to accommodate one another that we always look forward to falling asleep next to each other, even if we never wanted sleep to stealing away moments of us together.

In you I found companionship—a home to the bones that long to dance to the anthem of every music that has ever existed, a house to the largest collections of my thoughts, and a galaxy of infinite patience and understanding. Few things that were previously absent in my life. A different kind of intimacy and familiarity that I never knew could exist between two people.

But, apparently, it exists. And it's glorious.
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