Archive for September 2017

Bubble Rain

Monday, September 25, 2017 Comments Off

It started to rain again.

The last time it was raining on this part of the island was half a year ago—when the rain could witness us with our lips locked, while my fingers fumbled due to their lack of experience and your hands gripping on the armrests between us trying to simultaneously be closer and apart. The rain manifested a little bubble that defied time and space, any resemblance of reality was rejected. It was, simply, intimacy made life. My trusted yellow bag was a silent witness of the bubble in which there was a you and a me that cannot exist in reality. You were attentive, flirty, caring, observant, and a bit spontaneous, while I was hopeful, giddy, naive, and unready. We were exquisite. We experienced things that logic and reality would reject all at once. But that is all it was. A bubble. Its exclusivity cannot obey the laws of time and space, so it left us bereft of guidance or path. Things are done differently in this realm. We cannot find a dynamic that suits us properly and gives the same delightful feeling that we experienced in the bubble.

Maybe the rain would end the feelings that it started.

Humane to Want

Wednesday, September 6, 2017 Comments Off

It has been long since I last had an exciting day out with myself. It's been too long since I last had a date with myself that resulted in many pretty poems and short stories. I would pretty much like to blame it on the obligation and responsibility of being an employee in an industry that demands your attention 24/7; but I would be a coward if I were to say so. I would be lying—not so much to other people, but to myself. Lying about the reason behind my absence in my own relationship with myself would be counterproductive to its growth. The fact was, simply, I was too tired to care about myself. Sure, I gave myself necessities and attention, but it was bare minimum, a sub par at best. I prefer to give something with more depth, something that actually shows how much I worth to myself. Alas, since everything that has been going on in my life is emotionally draining, I feel like I don't have any excess attention and affection to give to myself to.

It's kind of hard not being able to show myself affection and attention that I deeply need. Especially when I know that I do not have anyone that could provide me with this necessity when I fail to come up with any of both. This inherent necessity is something primal that the world has deprived me of—something that only few fortunate could give and take from another, something that those who experience loneliness or unrequited love yearn for the most, something that these two groups of people know intimately but never seen, felt, touch them properly. How fortunate those who can sate their needs for affection and attention in the hands of people who care for them.

Perhaps I should also reflect on my needs and its requirement for satiation. Though, answer me this my love, is it too much to ask for understanding, honesty, and affection? Isn't it humane to want?
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