Flee
oh bollocks. things are messing with my head again. I have no idea why, but still, they are always messing with my head. as if my head is a playground for those who are majestically complicated. as if my head an exciting place to mess around with. oh dear God, I'm so scarred right now, because I think I'm not sane anymore. okay, I'm going to tell you about, well, things that are going on in my mind.
as if the world joking, or maybe they are giving me clues about things but nevertheless making fun of me, things that are going on around me are a bit messy and filled with coincidences and deja vu, and awakenings. I found myself confused and questioning things. things that weren't supposed to be questioned or maybe just forgot to be questioned. everytime I came across things that had to do with letting go of people unwillingly, missing someone that you know they are alive but you couldn't see anymore, in love with something that you couldn't have because they aren't there, I felt very sad, not just sympathy, but sad. utterly, madly, undoubtedly, deeply sad. I don't know why I'm sad about all those things, but I feel like I'm profoundly lonely and, with no doubt, sad. what should I do, world? what should I do to make those things go away. this feels like an awakening from forgotten memories, as if, but not really, someone left me. someone who I was deeply in love with or maybe just someone whom I love so much that it hurts when they leave. one thing I know about myself is that I've never had someone left me abruptly, or maybe I have but I didn't know them really. I wanna ask my parents about this person, but I think my parents are only going to laugh about it and tell me there's no such thing, that it's all nothing but nonsense. I quite believe it is.
although why would it be nonsense when all I can think about in this holiday is that person that left me, or someone who I think left me. but who? who left me and made me forgot about that person. was it my sister? was it my cousin? was it my best friend? or some random nice stranger. chances are no stranger to me, in fact someone who was very dear to me. but who? I'm questioning about things that are rather shouldn't be questioned about, because I hate it when the answer is no one. I guess maybe that's the answer? no one.
I know I may sound senseless right now, of course I do sound senseless why am I questioning it, but I really feel sad, feel like I've been in that position before, although I could recall I've never been in there... oh Gosh mindtrick, this gotta be mind trick. oh dear God. Pisces are very imaginative, have abstract minds and very sensitive, maybe I feel sad because it was my nature to be so? to be imaginative and yet abstract at the same time sensitive? oh dear God. I feel a bit depressive. I shouldn't be alone with my mind. I have a very dangerous mind. oh dear dear God.
[olivia bee]
as if the world joking, or maybe they are giving me clues about things but nevertheless making fun of me, things that are going on around me are a bit messy and filled with coincidences and deja vu, and awakenings. I found myself confused and questioning things. things that weren't supposed to be questioned or maybe just forgot to be questioned. everytime I came across things that had to do with letting go of people unwillingly, missing someone that you know they are alive but you couldn't see anymore, in love with something that you couldn't have because they aren't there, I felt very sad, not just sympathy, but sad. utterly, madly, undoubtedly, deeply sad. I don't know why I'm sad about all those things, but I feel like I'm profoundly lonely and, with no doubt, sad. what should I do, world? what should I do to make those things go away. this feels like an awakening from forgotten memories, as if, but not really, someone left me. someone who I was deeply in love with or maybe just someone whom I love so much that it hurts when they leave. one thing I know about myself is that I've never had someone left me abruptly, or maybe I have but I didn't know them really. I wanna ask my parents about this person, but I think my parents are only going to laugh about it and tell me there's no such thing, that it's all nothing but nonsense. I quite believe it is.
although why would it be nonsense when all I can think about in this holiday is that person that left me, or someone who I think left me. but who? who left me and made me forgot about that person. was it my sister? was it my cousin? was it my best friend? or some random nice stranger. chances are no stranger to me, in fact someone who was very dear to me. but who? I'm questioning about things that are rather shouldn't be questioned about, because I hate it when the answer is no one. I guess maybe that's the answer? no one.
I know I may sound senseless right now, of course I do sound senseless why am I questioning it, but I really feel sad, feel like I've been in that position before, although I could recall I've never been in there... oh Gosh mindtrick, this gotta be mind trick. oh dear God. Pisces are very imaginative, have abstract minds and very sensitive, maybe I feel sad because it was my nature to be so? to be imaginative and yet abstract at the same time sensitive? oh dear God. I feel a bit depressive. I shouldn't be alone with my mind. I have a very dangerous mind. oh dear dear God.
[olivia bee]
Comments
@mayang: makasih magray <3 <3 <3