In One Of The Rarest Occasions.
Tonight's theme is based on loneliness, or actually the opposite of it.
love.
and everything that revolves around it.
Basic First.
I've always attracted to people who prefer being silent or taciturn. Definitely mysterious and no cheap talks. Someone I could argue with from time to time, about the simplest, most unimportant things, the kind of arguments that would last only for awhile, arguments about things that shouldn't be argue about, like "what kind of ice creams we should be having after dinner", or, taken from one of my favorite movies, "whether the pyramids were majestic or magnificent". Someone who I can share everything with and make no judgements whatsoever about it, only smile thoughtfully and laugh occasionally. Someone who can soothes me, can chase away the demons in my head and ease away both physical and mental. I don't need Mr. Perfect, nor do I need Prince Charming... only normal people with abnormal gifts, like... knowing if my smiles today are genuine or fake or the mix of it, hugging me when he knows I need it, sending me chocolates when I feel like the whole world is ending, bringing me foods when I don't even know I want it, giving me pecks on my forehead when I feel like I'm the ugliest person in the world... simple little things, I know, but it means the most. Don't get me wrong, I do want those candlelight dinners, but just not everyday, I want simple blessings daily, not some giant givings annually.
I know those things I'm talking about are delusional thoughts, but I'm willing to wait, not wait for him, mind you, but wait for the chance, fate, destiny to meet him and fight for him. I know I should get real, face the fact that the kind of guy like that is hardly exist nowadays.
People told me, some implicitly and the others unexpectedly explicit, that I am special. That I don't have to go through all of those unworthy relationships and I would find that special someone to be married with. That brief relationships aren't for me. Of course it's all true. I don't want brief, unworthy, short-lived relationships. I won't last any of those probably. I don't want too serious relationships, God knows I am not really ready for that kind of relationships, but I don't want some childish relationships either.
Marriage Kind.
I still not know yet what kind of guy that I would marry. I know what they are supposed to do--and perhaps what I supposed to do--, but I don't know what they would look like. I know he has to have the same faith and religion with me, I know he has to be responsible, I know he has to be more mature than me, but those are personalities and qualifications, aren't those?
Rules And Regulations.
Seeing many crazy relationships and many damaged marriages making me insane myself. I know marriage is not only based on love and mutual attraction, but it also based on everything else, such as commitments to one another (in whichever kind there is), offsprings' genetic material, faith with each other, bearing responsibilities with each other, and others... something logical but based on feelings.
I know I'm too young for talking about marriage, but these kinds are the kinds I've been observing for the past seventeen years. I want a relationship that would stand still no matter how strong the hurricanes strike through it, that would stay as it is (if not become greater), not crumbling into pieces or falling apart.
Naïve I know, but can't I hope? I've watched too many falls, I don't want any of them, I don't.
love.
and everything that revolves around it.
Basic First.
I've always attracted to people who prefer being silent or taciturn. Definitely mysterious and no cheap talks. Someone I could argue with from time to time, about the simplest, most unimportant things, the kind of arguments that would last only for awhile, arguments about things that shouldn't be argue about, like "what kind of ice creams we should be having after dinner", or, taken from one of my favorite movies, "whether the pyramids were majestic or magnificent". Someone who I can share everything with and make no judgements whatsoever about it, only smile thoughtfully and laugh occasionally. Someone who can soothes me, can chase away the demons in my head and ease away both physical and mental. I don't need Mr. Perfect, nor do I need Prince Charming... only normal people with abnormal gifts, like... knowing if my smiles today are genuine or fake or the mix of it, hugging me when he knows I need it, sending me chocolates when I feel like the whole world is ending, bringing me foods when I don't even know I want it, giving me pecks on my forehead when I feel like I'm the ugliest person in the world... simple little things, I know, but it means the most. Don't get me wrong, I do want those candlelight dinners, but just not everyday, I want simple blessings daily, not some giant givings annually.
I know those things I'm talking about are delusional thoughts, but I'm willing to wait, not wait for him, mind you, but wait for the chance, fate, destiny to meet him and fight for him. I know I should get real, face the fact that the kind of guy like that is hardly exist nowadays.
People told me, some implicitly and the others unexpectedly explicit, that I am special. That I don't have to go through all of those unworthy relationships and I would find that special someone to be married with. That brief relationships aren't for me. Of course it's all true. I don't want brief, unworthy, short-lived relationships. I won't last any of those probably. I don't want too serious relationships, God knows I am not really ready for that kind of relationships, but I don't want some childish relationships either.
Marriage Kind.
I still not know yet what kind of guy that I would marry. I know what they are supposed to do--and perhaps what I supposed to do--, but I don't know what they would look like. I know he has to have the same faith and religion with me, I know he has to be responsible, I know he has to be more mature than me, but those are personalities and qualifications, aren't those?
Rules And Regulations.
Seeing many crazy relationships and many damaged marriages making me insane myself. I know marriage is not only based on love and mutual attraction, but it also based on everything else, such as commitments to one another (in whichever kind there is), offsprings' genetic material, faith with each other, bearing responsibilities with each other, and others... something logical but based on feelings.
I know I'm too young for talking about marriage, but these kinds are the kinds I've been observing for the past seventeen years. I want a relationship that would stand still no matter how strong the hurricanes strike through it, that would stay as it is (if not become greater), not crumbling into pieces or falling apart.
Naïve I know, but can't I hope? I've watched too many falls, I don't want any of them, I don't.