I Should Tattoo It In My Head

One of my dearest and closest friend once pointed me a fact about me that I didn't even realize until then, she stated I always go through self-induced wars in my head, that I always argue with myself in my head and well, it is true I guess. I always debate myself, about everything, that's why sometimes I tend to dilly-dallying all of my options. It does not really matter which one that wins in the end, because they are all based on my thinkings. It's all in my head.

Talking about head, or brain for you people that like technical term, I just had a revelation about it and everything that's related to it, including those coincidence madness and the hovering void on my chest. My friend, my dear dear smart-ass MIT-worth friend, told me that brain is a magnificent exquisite thing, an enigma that even us, who use it, can't decode.

I asked him about the coincidence that could not stop, I pointed out few facts, shocking facts, but he took it as if we were talking about the weather. He said that brain worked in a weird way, he said that those coincidence are only in my head, I confront him that the things that I always encountered things that I like everywhere and he just told me "What about when you don't see those things?" it's hardly a coincidence at all, or perhaps there's no such thing as coincidence, just fate misnamed. To come and think about it, I've always counted out the times when I think about something and it didn't happen or present itself in front of me.
I also told him about the mirrored numbers I see when I look at the time. He said that the brain can count internally, it has personal clock, so when I want to see the mirrored numbers, like 13:13, I will see it, even if I don't consciously want to see it. I believe that, while I don't want to see it, but deep inside, in my head, in my subconscious, I really want to see it.

As I understand it more and more, I begin to realize that it's all in my head. If I don't think about it much often, I realize that it will all go away. And that everything around me really revolves in circle. If I pay attention to every single details, it shouldn't be much of a shocking news, because deep inside I knew that one thing always relates to everything else. I only exaggerate things... perhaps. I don't even know anymore.

the term "my head is killing me" can't be truer than right now.