The Suburbs All Are Sleeping.

the logic says my heart got to be out of its mind. the logic says never trust the heart. the logic says heart is full of lie. the logic says stay out of the heart. the logic says never let anyone gets into your heart. the logic says never let anyone leave your heart. the logic says never let anyone possesses your heart. the heart replies, "logic be damned. life is about the balance of heart and mind. logic be damned. a person do what the heart says. logic be damned.".

I don't believe the odds that life had given me. I really don't. lately, when my brain starting to recognize something that unrecognizable but my heart recognize them instantly, although the two of them never rhymes simultaneously, I started to get sad, kind of like lypophrenia. those unrecognizable things that are quite familiar even though I don't really understand what they are. those familiarness of the unrecognizable things are only making me wonder why on Earth would I feel those? and to answer questions from a post in tumblr:

yes. I have and currently feel that my heart literally drop. like when I see something, read something, etc. I can actually feel them. I can feel the sinking feeling in my heart, that shocking feeling that takes over my brain. yes. I have actually feel that and the tears start streaming.

its like I'm stressing for the familiar feeling but different memories. and those memories are just... vague. like a hint of perfume in the midst of air in the cosmetic department. the perfume is recognizable, whilst the experience, the way you feel them, the way the memories of the person who wears the perfume come to you in an easy way but leave you with all those remembrances, only bring such a great despair and isn't recognizable. and my heart is starting to ask my brain. does this feeling real? is there even a feeling like this? my brain, being the logical one, doesn't know because it couldn't recognize any of these stories, thinks that there's no such thing as that feeling. because if there is such thing like this and if I somehow ever healed from this, I would have known how to cure this. how cure this over-flowing emptiness. how to cure a hole that left unnoticed in my heart from these past years. knowledge sometimes... kills, but I couldn't be ignorant at these feelings that keep occurring like telephone rings, you may not know when will it occurs, you may not know who calls you, you may not know why they call you, but you know the ring will always be the same and that will ring from time to time.

there's a part of me that want to know why are these things are occurring, why are these things keep happening, and what caused them to happen, part of me wondering, trying to reveal a veil beneath all of the secrets and mysteries of these wounded feelings. but, there's a part of me that is tired of... trying. tired of everything. and just want silence. so which one should I follow? the latter one, though, is the easiest, but the one that will cause so much sadness. while the first one... will cause heart breaking with no real definite cause at all.