"It's Like You Feel Homesick For A Place That Doesn't Even Exist"
I know I have claimed that "We all move in circles" is the answer for all those coincidences and deja vus, but I haven't got a clue about this missing person. this person that presence's missing. I have no bloody idea who is it, or if this person is a guy or a girl. I don't have idea why this person, the person that's missing mentally and physically both in my mind and by presence, haunts me. how this person's presence, to borrow a quote from Fiya Muiz, still lingers without certain limitation of time. but, bugger, those coincidences still bugging me. still dancing around my presence, still laughing at the sorrow and madness that they have caused, still inflicting me in certain mad ways that I don't even know why they have such power. those emotional things that they caused by wandering along with me, bugging me like a barbie doll that you could play with, are may not be grand, but they keep coming. the never ending circles. oh dear God, senseless things that I am saying right now. senseless, mindless, weird things. I don't even know myself.
yesterday I told two of my best friends that I want to leave Jakarta. not really, but yeah, if I got a shot, why not? if I could just get out of this maddening city, this pollutant city, filled with mindless characters and more-faces-than-one creatures, I would. I would leave and go to somewhere else, somewhere that is not necessarily better, but somewhere that I could make peace, even with myself. I know conflicts never stop, but if I could make them less than what I used to have, then why in the world not? and I also believe that there is no such thing as peace if you don't universally believe them, so currently there's no such thing as peace, but it would be nice to go to a place where there are less mindless characters, I don't need to go to a place where there are normal people, because frankly there's no such thing as normal, but I'd like to go to a place where there are abnormal people who get along together easily. or people like me, people who I belonged to, people who see me as myself, place where I don't have to pretend, place where people accept me for who I am. I know that place called home and I am living in it right now, but it would be nice if I could go to a place where there's no bunch of plastic people, few of them, nothing that I can't handle. okay okay stop complaining.
couldn't believe monday is school already, next year I'll be away in college/university. I won't be sit in this place at this time next year. I'll be away. wow. time goes by so fast.
[violeteyes]
yesterday I told two of my best friends that I want to leave Jakarta. not really, but yeah, if I got a shot, why not? if I could just get out of this maddening city, this pollutant city, filled with mindless characters and more-faces-than-one creatures, I would. I would leave and go to somewhere else, somewhere that is not necessarily better, but somewhere that I could make peace, even with myself. I know conflicts never stop, but if I could make them less than what I used to have, then why in the world not? and I also believe that there is no such thing as peace if you don't universally believe them, so currently there's no such thing as peace, but it would be nice to go to a place where there are less mindless characters, I don't need to go to a place where there are normal people, because frankly there's no such thing as normal, but I'd like to go to a place where there are abnormal people who get along together easily. or people like me, people who I belonged to, people who see me as myself, place where I don't have to pretend, place where people accept me for who I am. I know that place called home and I am living in it right now, but it would be nice if I could go to a place where there's no bunch of plastic people, few of them, nothing that I can't handle. okay okay stop complaining.
couldn't believe monday is school already, next year I'll be away in college/university. I won't be sit in this place at this time next year. I'll be away. wow. time goes by so fast.
[violeteyes]
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