I feel like I am missing out on something in life. Some unknown thrills that few had the misfortunes or the fortunes of having, depending on which they prefer. I don't know what, but I know that this certain thing must have been what make people can feel agony and joy at the same time; for I only know one thing at the time.

I don't know how long I can keep myself from crying after too many forced laughters.

And the saddest part of everything is, I could never know what cause me to feel this negative. Or at times, not feel anything at all.