Static

I was surprised last night by how some things stay in a total constant state and still going to be like that in many years ahead. I couldn't rest last night, so I got my mind occupied with things that aren't quite necessary or even looked like those were slightly bit more important than my upcoming exams. those  thoughts weren't. they were things that I caught running in circle motion everytime I got a chance to rest. and last night was some sort of a realization, a small rock thrown up to my head, a voice ringing right inside my brain, whispered things that made me feel like I bounced back into reality.

I thought of how things would never change and they never did since many years ago. like some pinpoint of substances in life. they just shaking thoroughly, they, however, did not change. I realized that when I was listening to one of the songs that helped me moved on with my life back when I was in 9th grade. the music still felt the same, still had that hint of feeling I had toward ----, it still tasted the same, the sometimes pitched notes, the extra details of the vocalists (like grunts or unconscious inhales)... they're still there. they don't move a bit, the lyrics didn't feel different, that feeling you get when you close your eyes and you get to see the moments in front of you didn't change. they were still the same. they really amazed me. I like to have something that I could count on and music is one of those things. you still would have a total music euphoria three solid years ago with someone that you really loved and still feel the same right now even though you both are separated. it's the absolute constant thing, music is. although you can found things that you didn't notice before in the song, like... the lyrics aren't like what you always thought they were.

oh but how fragrance can be so static too. how those small complex compounds that you learn in chemistry class would bond together in such way that made them very hard to stay away to. fragrance, though, with a little mix with wrong substance, would change into something entirely different. it isn't as constant and as static as music, but fragrance still brought me sense of surprise that they made me feel like I was in a specific moment long time ago; like the smell of my cousin's perfume remind me of our trip together from Bandung to Jakarta and the smell of my friends' house hasn't changed since the last decade and the smell of Bandung's cold morning.

I still can recall the moments I made when the songs were blasting through the speakers, I still can tell what I did when I smell Baskin Robbins' Jamoca Almond Fudge came in contact with my cousin's perfume. it's all recallable. I still can feel the shift movements of the trees when I hear a certain song. I'm really grateful of how God made things so complicated and cannot be changed for a reason or more. it's only God's act so make us feel like those are our own time machines.

till another post.

x

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