Priorities

would you believe me if I say I don't want to be here any longer? that my whole physical body is in here, but my psychological and my mind aren't? and that the whole time people explaining things to me, only the selected few that are still in my mind? those unrelated-to-what-we-are-going-to-do-in-our-lives studies only stay in my mind when they are needed, like exams or quizzes, other than that, the only thing that's going on in my mind is how to survive and occasional thinking and digesting informations, other than that... it's nothing, like space of vacuum. but there's this hovering feeling in my head, that feel like I'm not supposed to be here.

I don't want to be here any longer and I know I'm not supposed to be here. that my existence in here is just a mere mistake, a small honest mistake. maybe I'm an old soul that got trapped in a young woman's body or maybe I'm preserving this body until the real soul that owns this body come. because as this body grow older, I feel more and more uncomfortable and there's this feeling in the edge of my mind that this is not the place where I meant to have a life, that this place only a temporary post, temporary location. I do not know if this is only feeling that you're meant to have when you're growing up, but most of my friends don't confronted the same feelings that I have right now. growing up is confusing.

currently, I can't decide on my priorities. I'm supposed to be studying right now, but I'm in front of my computer. the reason why I can't decide on my priorities? it is because I'm nobody's priorities

[muzenscen]