Little lotus

Hello there, waterland! How are you? I'm fine just a bit tired. And lazy. Yeah, last night I went to bed at like 12.15 am and my head was spinning. Non, I wasn't drunk. I was too tired. I went home at about 10 and my mother was talking with her brother, who's my uncle, and with his wife. They were laughing. Then my mother said "Teh itu ajak Luna maen", Luna is my little cousin, she's only 3 years old. Here's the picture of her

This pic taken like about I don't know so long ago maybe. She's cute. She's incredibly white, pink-white. She loooooves dress, she said she would look like barbie if she wearing a dress. Well she is. She likes to play with her doll, something that I don't really like, you know barbie can be scary for me, or any doll and human-like doll, I prefer stuffed animal, because it's cheaper and verrry hugable and cozy :-----)

Okay.... I'm a bit blank. I'm blogwalking right now. I saw maaaany beautiful blog. Their words are some work of art. Their pictures are hell of a story. Can I be just like them? Can I be as pretty as they are? Can I be as cool as they are? I don't know. Maybe time will tell eventually. But does it tell that I will... as everything as they are? Will it?

Ahh... world. I'm still clinging for my own life. I'm bored. I want to end this life. Sometimes, though. Sometimes I even ask Why oh why God... why do I have to live? But then I remember, I should have thank to God for the opportunity to be alive, to have a great parents, nice house, cool brother. But... we human has the feeling that they cant have enough for everything.

I'm sick of my life lately. I'm sick of everything inside of me. Everybody is lying. Everybody is laughing at me. And nobody cares. Nobody would treat me like a princess. Nobody would treat me like a diamond. Nobody would love me. Well yeah God love me soooo mucho but, I'm talking about human here. I don't even think that God love me that much. And I don't think nobody would special me. I'm nobody's special person. They treat me differently.

Especially for my mum. They lure my mum. My mum is like one of the most special and unique people among thousands millions of people. My mum is someone special. For everyone. Everybody loves my mum. They love them more than they love me... I know. I know. I should be grateful for having such a cool mum like that. But........ it's different if you were me. You will be treated differently. My family loves her more than they love me. They love me because they love my mother. No, it's not sad. It's... fine. I'm fine. I always treated differently since I was a kid. So it's awkay really. I don't begging you for helping me. I'm teenage. I do handle myself. I'll be calling you if I need any help.

If you had ever, even just a little feeling that you hate, uh not hate just jealous at yer mum. You know how I feel. I don't hate her. I'm just jealous. But who am I compare to her? She's a great woman. Everyone loves her. She always be the centre of the attention. It's not that I want to be like her. It's just... I wanted her to feel if she's me. Being the shadow. Being the nobody. I don't need a year, or even a day. I just need a moment. So she can feel how I feel being the nobody, being the forgotten, being the "who is she?", being her daughter. For she being the not centre of the attention. Just a moment. Or maybe even just a single hour where our family get together. I don't wish for it to be happen. I just wondered.

She once the forgotten. Now it's my turn. Maybe this thing will last forever. Maybe this thing will last until I die. I don't know. I don't wish I would be like her, nor she would be like me. Nor I would wish I could turned into 18. I just wish that I would be fine. I could live the normal life like my friends. They never ever compared wif their mum.

Enough complaining.

Hey, I want these:

1. Take That's New Album: The Circus. Their new song is Greatest Day. Gary sang most of the song but that's okay, Mark look such a hottie on the video. You Tube click it's their new video.
   
2. Take That's Concert in UK. Next year theyre going to have concerts in Europe! I REALLY REALLY WANT TO SEE THEM. Please pray for me that I'll go to UK or they go to Spore so I can watch them <3<3<3
   
3. Europe Tour. UK, Switzerland, GERMANY, Italy, France ah, Europe...
   
4. Macau, Yes, Ive been to HKG and China but never been to Macau, a pity isn't it?
   
5. Watching Circus. Yes, Take That's newest album makes me want to watch them. It must be nice watch Circus. Theyve been here once, 4 years ago so I really want to see them ;--)

Blah. Enough for today. I want to eat moi sushi <3<3<3