Interviewing Freya Part II

Interviewer: Can you tell us more about Erica, please?

Freya: (she sighs) Could you please elaborate your question?

Interviewer: For instance, did she feel a void in her heart?

Freya: (she looks up and forms a watery smile) Don't we all?

Interviewer: Yeah, but can you please tell us more? Describe her void, if it is possible?

Freya: (she sighs and looks away from the camera, her eyes stare longingly to the lake) I can, of course, I can describe it, because I bloody (censored) write it, but to put it on words, (she stares at the camera once and then back at the lake outside the window) to put it on words is just plain hard. It's like... (she stares at her manicured nails and looks away to the outdoor beauty) it's like that lake (she points out), you see, from the outside, it looks pretty, yeah? Like nothing ever hurt it, like a timeless flawless beauty that pinpoint on the Earth perpetually. A perpetual peace point. Something ethereal and eternal. A beauty. But... (she looks longingly at the lake that slowly passes by and disappears) you don't know what made that lake, you don't know what made that lake so beautiful, so ethereal, so... exquisite. You don't know what that lake had been through, like earthquakes, thunderstorms... it had been through hell, but you never know, because you see it as what it is now, nobody wants to know what kind of... misery that lake had been through. It's a lot like her. Erica... (she laughs bitterly) she had been in hell but came back alive, she was more badass than Constantine. She was a beauty. A tough one, mind you, not some plastic Barbie-wannabe from Hollywood land. (she stares at the scenery outside the car longingly)

Interviewer: You are saying her struggles not only made her tough but made her beautiful too?

Freya: (she stares at the camera, her eyes hollow, void of any emotions) Can't you see? She was already pretty, but nobody, and I mean, nobody (her eyes aflame) ever said that she was pretty or beautiful. Nobody ever made her feel like she was wanted. Like she was... a worthy person. She was a magnificent beauty, a state of the art.

Interviewer: Nobody ever told her she was pretty? Not even him?

Freya: That's the beauty of it. He tried, once, twice, hell, he always tried, but he never got the guts to do it, you know? He never got the guts to... just... say that she was beautiful, that she was pretty. (she looks at the camera soberly) This is a lesson for you men, if you like a lady, tell her that she is and always will be beautiful. That she is worthy. That she worth the time you spend with her. Or else... (she stops saying)

Interviewer: Or else what?

Freya: It's not for me to tell, it is for you to find out. You should watch the movie. But here's the thing though, even if people say that she was beautiful, if the people who she cared about did not say the same, then it's a lost cause. Besides, "fat, ugly, no good shit magnet" had already been planted in her head. Since she was a kid, nobody... nobody (censored) appreciated her. I mean... when you are a kid, a mere eight years old, you should be appreciated, you know, to built up your confidence and such, but nobody ever did that to her, all they ever told her was how "fat, ugly, no good shit magnet" she was.

Interviewer: How... poignant...

Freya: (nods her head furiously) It is. Very much. I must say, personally, this is the most honest work I've ever done.

Interviewer: How did she survive?

Freya: You should... watch the movie. (she looks at her hands on her lap and then back at the camera) Or read the book. (she looks at her and fidgets with her ACNE blouse)

Interviewer: I had a source who told me that you picked most of Erica's outfits?

Freya: (smiles at the camera genuinely and nodded) Yeah, I did. I almost overdoing it. (she smiles dashingly) I ordered ACNE, Weekday, COS and lots of others, but the others weren't as expensive as those four. (she shows the camera some pictures from her pocket camera)

Interviewer: Could you please describe her fashion sense?

Freya: Although she sometimes didn't want to admit it, (she smiles) she kinda liked the it-fashion trend that was popular in her time. She wore blouses, printed shirts, button-downs. She wore jeans most of the time, but sometimes, if she felt very confident, she wore shorts or nice dresses. There were times when (she sighs and looks thoughtfully at the building outside as the car passes by, she immediately looks back) she wore all black, when she wore sadness on her outfit. She branded that sadness. There's a quote that I like, she said... she said... "Black is the colour that keeps the darkest of secrets. It holds the most thoughtful memories, the most bizarre questions and the most unknown ideas. It holds someone life. It keeps the fractured nightmares. It's the colour of secrets."

(she shows a photo in her pocket camera)

Interviewer: Wow, that's... deep.
Freya: (she gives the interviewer, instead of the camera, a watery smile) That's what I love the most about her. She... (looks up at the ceiling of the car and then back at the camera with a huge confident smile) was such an enigmatic beauty.

Interviewer: Was she into fashion?

Freya: I say... in a way (she smiles genuinely) yeah.

Interviewer: Is there any more phrases that you like?
Freya: (she looks at her fingers, fidgets with her sheer golden blouse and then looks directly at the camera with a sad smile on her lips) "She felt chill on every inch of the surface of her body, it wasn't from the cold, she noted, it was from her utter profound loneliness", it's obviously from the book. I just... the book is perfect. Everything about Erica is.

(she shows a picture on her pocket camera, a picture that is being used as the cover of the book)

Interviewer: Last question, can you tell us if this book is actually a memoir?

Freya: (starts to cry and looks at the scenery outside the moving car) No comment (she sobs)