Embracing The Holiday
Beforehand, I would like to thank people that made thoughts-numbing songs as a replacement for chocolates, I would not name those bands, but for whatever reasons they made those songs, thank you. Those songs help me and always been there for me. Thank you.
Credit to the holiday, days began to crumble and eventually merged together making dates unacceptable for my current condition. As much as I love being away from school, this holiday is the longest I’ve had in my life because I’m going to go to Uni soon. I would rather have something to bother me in long-term condition, although, I’d appreciate if the subjects are something serious like school stuffs, I do not like being very idle and have nothing to do. Things that I shouldn’t think about, I think constantly. I go through self-induced war in my head, deciding which one is right and which one is wrong, the same thing always happen everyday and the right would turn into wrong as well as the wrong would turn into right.
There is no point arguing with myself as those are my own thoughts, they are bound to bounce into each other, what I do mind is that the fact that things that I’ve been avoiding come through my mind in the middle of the day, or right after I wake up. As I’ve predicted before, the coincidence never stopped, they just come and go whenever they pleased, some would rather go very intense and very bold as the others would just merely tickles in the back of my head.
Sometimes in the day, I would prefer some mind-numbing songs and songs in languages I don’t understand to set my mind at ease. I’d prefer to hear some nonsense, rather than to hear lyrics that the singers sing so greatly they become legend. It is easier that way. It is easier to cope that way.
Loneliness is a friend that you couldn’t, no matter how hard and long you try, brush off. They would always be there like stain marks, like scars, like rainy days in the middle of summer, like scratches on wood table, they are reminder of things are never as permanent as they looked like or as they hoped for. Certainly, loneliness grows powerful in the terms of holiday. Friends kept me from being alone, but when they left, all I can feel is this terrible ache of loneliness. “alone is curable, loneliness isn’t.”
I would keep songs playing all days, my speaker would repeat the same words that spoken by the same singers, just to make me think of them as some vague resemblance of salvation to help get out of things that are currently in my mind.
[julie.lansom]
Credit to the holiday, days began to crumble and eventually merged together making dates unacceptable for my current condition. As much as I love being away from school, this holiday is the longest I’ve had in my life because I’m going to go to Uni soon. I would rather have something to bother me in long-term condition, although, I’d appreciate if the subjects are something serious like school stuffs, I do not like being very idle and have nothing to do. Things that I shouldn’t think about, I think constantly. I go through self-induced war in my head, deciding which one is right and which one is wrong, the same thing always happen everyday and the right would turn into wrong as well as the wrong would turn into right.
There is no point arguing with myself as those are my own thoughts, they are bound to bounce into each other, what I do mind is that the fact that things that I’ve been avoiding come through my mind in the middle of the day, or right after I wake up. As I’ve predicted before, the coincidence never stopped, they just come and go whenever they pleased, some would rather go very intense and very bold as the others would just merely tickles in the back of my head.
Sometimes in the day, I would prefer some mind-numbing songs and songs in languages I don’t understand to set my mind at ease. I’d prefer to hear some nonsense, rather than to hear lyrics that the singers sing so greatly they become legend. It is easier that way. It is easier to cope that way.
Loneliness is a friend that you couldn’t, no matter how hard and long you try, brush off. They would always be there like stain marks, like scars, like rainy days in the middle of summer, like scratches on wood table, they are reminder of things are never as permanent as they looked like or as they hoped for. Certainly, loneliness grows powerful in the terms of holiday. Friends kept me from being alone, but when they left, all I can feel is this terrible ache of loneliness. “alone is curable, loneliness isn’t.”
I would keep songs playing all days, my speaker would repeat the same words that spoken by the same singers, just to make me think of them as some vague resemblance of salvation to help get out of things that are currently in my mind.
[julie.lansom]