Benevolent Faeries
Loss. a word that would mean different altogether if the last two letters replaced with another letters. Love. Loath. Lost. The small difference and easily change words can be reflected upon other matters as well. They connected to each other easily and by a simple twist of fate. The edges of each would blur and make a bridge to relate both worlds, as an example: happiness and sadness, they are both, terrifyingly so, close to each other that they could swap each other without us knowing, like a change of day and night.
It would remind me, in the middle of my activity, or when I'm just about to go to bed. that is why I prefer to sleep very late at night, because I've exhausted my brain enough to make it function as primal as possible, to let me devour some sweet nothings of dreams; but I would wake up late in the morning too, as I want to forget all of those things that can't be forgotten and cure things that can't be heal. Sleeping acts as my sanctuary, as my savior after a long day fight and it would take me away from the harsh reality to the welcoming embrace of faux refugee. It provides false safety.
The Middle East -- Lonely
Hollow aching fucking pain in my chest would not go away. As a matter of fact, it intensifies, if it possible, to become something even stronger. I hate how this void still ache. It aches for the familiarity of inevitable loss. It is not easy to describe it, but it is terrible. It feels like I've felt all of those figurative and literal loss before, so when I see someone who loses something—in most cases someone— so precious to them, this emptiness would be in a profound sorrow phase. They say the feeling is usual to human, it is usual for us to feel this pang of nothingness in our chest, but how to make it go a away? How to fill them? How to bury them away? I've tried but failed miserably, because it cannot be hidden. It feels as if I've been in that position before. It hurts, because I could not do anything about it. It hurts, because... no amount of tea, words I write, mind-numbing songs that eventually loss its meaning could mend. The feeling when someone leaves you for a long time, the feeling when you are lonely, the feeling when you can't be together with someone... they are all too familiar to me, caused me a great deal of stomach lurching nothingness.It would remind me, in the middle of my activity, or when I'm just about to go to bed. that is why I prefer to sleep very late at night, because I've exhausted my brain enough to make it function as primal as possible, to let me devour some sweet nothings of dreams; but I would wake up late in the morning too, as I want to forget all of those things that can't be forgotten and cure things that can't be heal. Sleeping acts as my sanctuary, as my savior after a long day fight and it would take me away from the harsh reality to the welcoming embrace of faux refugee. It provides false safety.