Under Heavy Eyelids.
its raining cats and dogs here. not much of a cheerful rain, really. more of a scary one. the ones that make you can't here your own voice and thoughts. its good, though, for me anyway. the sound of heavy rain blocks my thoughts and my... nightmares, also voices in my head. voices that scream loud, voices that cry loud, voices that say all the same things over and over again.
the heavy thuds of rain falling from the skies makes the city got quieter and colder. unusual weather for this bloody hot city, I even wear my yellow mustard sweater. feels like I'm on holiday or something, because I feel very lazy today, and very unproductive. also the fact that I wear my lazy sweater. I love sweaters. I really need sweaters. I'm in love with vintage-looking sweaters and worn-looking long shirts and men oversized sweaters. wearing those things make me feels safe and at home, warm also. but mostly, they make me feel like home, like I belong to somewhere. isn't that perfectly non-sense? but I love them anyway, I love my sweaters, my long shirts, I need to buy more sweaters, cheap, worn-looking, vintage-looking, but still in good condition, sweaters. does anyone know where to find one?
yesterday was epically chaos. the closing of Schoolympic. people were there, lots of people. stranger, familiar-face, I-know-you-you-know-me, friends and even best friends were there, oh and teachers, too. people gathered to see some bands that I've never heard of, to witness some of their friends and their relatives won some awards, to laughed with their friends, to made some memories that will eventually only be remembered vaguely. I met some of my long-time-no-see friends, they remained as they were, as I used to know, good or bad. also, fortune teller read my future, past and present life.
I asked about my career first. he told me about my past, he read on his cards that I was reluctant to go to my current school but I eventually love it, it was the truth. the present isn't so great, he said, I will see some obstacles ahead, those obstacles are going to be from boys. he said that I will meet this one perfect guy and I will have this one perfect relationship with him, but my career will go down and my grades will fall. I cried out "No, no I want my grades." but he smiled and said, "but you heart screamed for the perfect boyfriend." holy cow, its the truth. for the future, I'll be bound between two choices, but will have a great life. he's a really good adviser, he advised me to just focus on my study and love will come find me eventually. he also knows that I sleep a lot and lazy as cows. I'm afraid of.
I hate goodbyes. Emil is on her way to Wisconsin now. I'm going to miss her so bad, because she was one of my close friends I have in high school, not as close as Way, but still as important. hope you're gonna be well. oh I hate people that leave. and I also hate people that isn't loyal and it disgusts me.
I keep biting my lip and hurting my skins. not that I've gone emo or something, but I've gone... crazy. mad. or whatever you people call this. I hate this. this feeling. this uneasy, rips you apart from inside because of blurry and vague thing. bloody lypophrenia. I wish I was normal. I don't want to be. I wish I was. I need. because. God, help.
this song feels like home. feels very safe. like you're in a sanctuary. far away from real world. well, it is to me anyway.
Rockettothesky - Grizzly Man
[Nich Hanche]
the heavy thuds of rain falling from the skies makes the city got quieter and colder. unusual weather for this bloody hot city, I even wear my yellow mustard sweater. feels like I'm on holiday or something, because I feel very lazy today, and very unproductive. also the fact that I wear my lazy sweater. I love sweaters. I really need sweaters. I'm in love with vintage-looking sweaters and worn-looking long shirts and men oversized sweaters. wearing those things make me feels safe and at home, warm also. but mostly, they make me feel like home, like I belong to somewhere. isn't that perfectly non-sense? but I love them anyway, I love my sweaters, my long shirts, I need to buy more sweaters, cheap, worn-looking, vintage-looking, but still in good condition, sweaters. does anyone know where to find one?
yesterday was epically chaos. the closing of Schoolympic. people were there, lots of people. stranger, familiar-face, I-know-you-you-know-me, friends and even best friends were there, oh and teachers, too. people gathered to see some bands that I've never heard of, to witness some of their friends and their relatives won some awards, to laughed with their friends, to made some memories that will eventually only be remembered vaguely. I met some of my long-time-no-see friends, they remained as they were, as I used to know, good or bad. also, fortune teller read my future, past and present life.
I asked about my career first. he told me about my past, he read on his cards that I was reluctant to go to my current school but I eventually love it, it was the truth. the present isn't so great, he said, I will see some obstacles ahead, those obstacles are going to be from boys. he said that I will meet this one perfect guy and I will have this one perfect relationship with him, but my career will go down and my grades will fall. I cried out "No, no I want my grades." but he smiled and said, "but you heart screamed for the perfect boyfriend." holy cow, its the truth. for the future, I'll be bound between two choices, but will have a great life. he's a really good adviser, he advised me to just focus on my study and love will come find me eventually. he also knows that I sleep a lot and lazy as cows. I'm afraid of.
I hate goodbyes. Emil is on her way to Wisconsin now. I'm going to miss her so bad, because she was one of my close friends I have in high school, not as close as Way, but still as important. hope you're gonna be well. oh I hate people that leave. and I also hate people that isn't loyal and it disgusts me.
I keep biting my lip and hurting my skins. not that I've gone emo or something, but I've gone... crazy. mad. or whatever you people call this. I hate this. this feeling. this uneasy, rips you apart from inside because of blurry and vague thing. bloody lypophrenia. I wish I was normal. I don't want to be. I wish I was. I need. because. God, help.
this song feels like home. feels very safe. like you're in a sanctuary. far away from real world. well, it is to me anyway.
Rockettothesky - Grizzly Man
[Nich Hanche]
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