Really. Imaginably. (Im)Possible.

I wish I could stop feeling like this.

you know,

sorrow, joy, happiness, pain, guilt, throbbing madness all at ones.

you know,

hormones and tell-tale of growing ups.

I want it rain.

I want the world to rain.

I want them to feel the fresh air.

I want them to remember that in the end, its the world you need.

everyone, I think, needs to be wash from their problems.

they need to be refreshed.

they need to live their life.

they need to leave their pains behind.

they all need to stop suffering.

they say time will heals.

will they bury the hole that cut open forcefully?

will they grow the leaves in already abandoned tree?

will they promise someone won't dig a similar hole?

or they will only bring hope. false hopes.

"no more." my heart says. "I can't handle this. all of this."

you have to, I scream. or else I won't survive.
my brain starts to function on its own
forgetting how vulnerable my heart is
and my heart is in the darkest phase
like someone is lurking out of the shadow of the darkness
like something hiding in the dimmest of light
something broken
vulnerable
and feels all kinds of them at once.

[Joe Curtin]