I Missed A Smile or Two

I should sound like I don't care. I should sound like there's nothing else to be cared for. I should sound like there's nothing to be... oh well, there's just nothing perhaps.

I really have to sound like I never care about anything. I should never sound like I care about anything really, or perhaps I should never really care about the idea of life at all.

I hate growing up, or just maybe the idea of growing up. Growing up is not fun. It's like we abandoned all the fun things. The old people refuse to believe what they used to believe when they were young. The fun began to decrease as we grow old. Then after we grew older. We began to think of our sins and pray to God we don't go to the wrong side. Then we die.

So as I think of the idea of growing up... well it's pathetic right? To just having the same things everyday, not knowing that we only live once, we don't have the second chance (well based on my religion)? So why don't we live everyday like there's no tomorrow. Not wasting one bit of a time?

And from today on, I should live my life more... to life. More fun. I only live once.

I have never feel this empty. I cried last night. A lot. Like a really lot. I felt very... empty and... unfulfilled. For some bad or good reasons. I felt so tired lately. I miss something. I miss a place. I miss home. I am writing this at my house, but oh why I feel less home than usual? I don't feel comfortable nor I feel secure. I really feel insecure lately. I feel nothing actually, wait I do feel something, something that indescribable. I don't know what it is, I've been typing and erasing words; oh God I need the missing piece.

I feel so lost, indescribable, like a missing piece;

I'm going to skip the day. I won't go out today. I think. Nobody asked me out today, so I shall not go out. Maybe. I'm going out with my uncle and cousin maybe. Maybe. Sunshine and Pathfinder are on the schedule on Star Movies. Good movies with handsome actors :)

gottagoandeatnowbye,

D