Without Love

Sunday, January 19, 2014 Comments Off

"Maybe I no longer care if I won't fall in love." she said, blurting it out to the moon as it was one of the things she was gazing that night. "Maybe it's not for me, you know?"
She twirled the lock of her hair, inhaling the sweet smell of her own name-brand shampoo. It intoxicated her to the point of remembering things that never were. "Maybe falling in love is just some kind of false advertisement for the poor. They say with a good job comes a good partner, house, ride and, ergo, love. But I don't think that's true and love is a bourgeois construct."

"Or maybe love is just that special thing, like smelling a whiff of daisies in the morning when you actually live in downtown LA in winter, to keep you going from falling apart. It's just one of those lucks in life that not everyone can enjoy or have." her hips swayed to the nonexistent music.

"Or maybe love is a form of worldwide sickness where everyone is getting praised for having it and pitied upon when they are diagnosed without it. A form of insanity that got misread along the history of humankind as something nurturing. I want to know what happened years back, you know? When we were just humans without knowledge, when we were much simpler and primal human beings... I mean, what were we thinking about having that feeling when we like someone to borderline insanity, why we chose to accept is as normal and we even promoted the idea of sharing it with someone else. Love is a weird concept for me."

She sighed, licking her lips and drinking in the sight before her. "And not having it is not a problem to me. Right now, it doesn't feel like I'm missing out on something or needing something that I don't have. You know what? Not having it means like I am able to say, without a doubt, that I survive without romantic love. Sure some people love me or at least they once did, but not experiencing romantic love that could change the course of one's life means so much to me because I can do it alone. I can actually live alone. By myself."

She smiled widely, her pearly white teeth glistening in the dark. "Living alone is not actually that bad. I've been doing that all my life. I've been forced to accept my seclusion without anyone on the opposite gender--which I currently like--who I can actually relay any of my thoughts to. So, yeah. I can live alone."

"And you know what? I ain't scared."

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