I Should

No matter how much I have grown to love myself and care for myself, I still found myself asking to the void: how do I make myself more loved and lovable?

Should I blunt my edges in order to be more easily digested? Should I hide these thorns behind artificially-smelling roses? Should I create more rooms inside my head in order to accommodate my unwanted yet permanent demons there? Should I trade my voice for my silence? Should I swallow my words and reshape them into something more acceptable? Should I keep my hands tied behind my back to keep myself from smothering other people with my nonsense? Should my identity becomes null by losing myself to templates of women that are more lovable and more loved?

Should I still want myself, even after all of this? Even after no one wants me. Even after I don't want me.