Dystopia

"I love you." he said as he stroke the pale cheeks of her face. She looked very peaceful. Her red hair spread gracefully on the table. He kissed her button nose.

"I love you." he said again. This time a tear slid to his cheek and soon many tears followed. He clasped both of his hands to her unmoving ones. She was as cold as ice. The warmth she used to have was gone, replaced by the cold unyielding death. Replace by emptiness that soon filled her like water. He kneeled and sobbed.

"I should have..." he said in between tears.

Vaguely, a video was being played over and over again.

"Dear Leonard,

If you are reading this then you've survived the war and win. Then, I want to congratulate you for winning the war, thanks to your sacrifices and tactics, without you we couldn't have won this war; thank your for fighting with and for us. Thank you for thinking ahead, for being selfless, for being a loyal soldier.

Second, the reason you are watching this is because I'm gone. The reason behind it is because I love you, and I always will; even if it is such a hard concept for you, because being trapped in a loveless law-issued marriage--with Dakota's cousin nonetheless-- and being far from Dakota made you forget about the concept of love, but I want, need, you to know that I love you. That every fiber of this being always belongs to you, whether you want it or not, whether you like it or not, whether you notice it or not, I am yours. Though I know you couldn't say the same, this heart belongs to you, treat it well while I'm gone. Though I know I am not as perfect as Dakota, not as smart, not as brave, not even close to being pretty--red frizzy hair with an awkward body versus blonde hair with a body of a model? I think we both know who wins-- I need you to know that you are loved by me. I know you might, at some point of the time, think that nobody loves you and you fight for Dakota just for the sake of something to holding on and continue your life, but just remember that I'll always be there for you, not physically perhaps, but mentally. I'm yours; this soul belongs to you, treat it well.

Third, for the past few years, I know you always mourned for Dakota, I know she always occupies every single space in your heart and in your head... that is why I'm trading places with her. I don't know if The Master wanted someone like me to be his mistress, but I guess I'm giving it a shot, who knows if I get to be his mistress, I could make him move some place else; that is, if someone like him wants a damaged, bruised, bullied girl like me. I'm doing it because of you, you see. I don't need pity, but I just want you to know that everything that I do is because of my love for you. I want you to be happy, happier than you've ever been when you were with me, so I'm getting her home, at least if she's home then you have less things to worry about and could concentrate to win this war.

For some times in our marriage, I always thought that you could love me. I always thought that, if you spend your time with me, you could eventually fall in love with me. I should have known better... but I did you see, those hopes were just selfish thinking, but I couldn't help picture us, in an alternate universe, together happy with babies that have your blue eyes and my red hair; however, fate has another plan and I know you wouldn't, couldn't, love me. I know you would never love me because I know at night you called her name instead of mine, you cuddled mine but whispered hers in my ears and in the morning I saw your looks of disappointment when you found out I was the one you cuddled instead of her. It hurts. They hurt. A lot. Hurt more than insults I've had when I was young. I've never thought being a shadow of someone else could be this hurt. But it's all my fault. I shouldn't have... but no regrets, right? At least I get to be Mrs. Leonard, even though only in title.

I know you will not realize that I'm not there, but please remember me when you do. I'll be gone and will never come back. This morning is the last time we meet each other. I know this weekend you'll strike The Master. I just hope you could win. I know all the tactics. I know where you're going to bomb his building. And I know the chance of my survival is minimum. But, if you win, I know you are because I believe in you and this message could be opened only if you win, then my job is done. Knowing you are happy and safe, even if it means with Dakota, the one who... bullied me when I was a kid, then I'll be fine. I'm happy if you are safe, secure and happy.

I'm leaving now, Leonard. She'll be in your home by midnight. I've made... deals with The Master. He's pretty nice considering he's a leader of this dystopian country. She'll be back at your arms. Don't forget to tell her how much she means to you, don't forget to love her in ways you don't to me, don't forget to cherish her in ways I could only dream of and don't forget to be with her always.

I think... I won't survive the war. I'll be marked as a traitor, but I'm better off dead than seeing you with Dakota. I know I won't survive the war. I know I'll be dead, but I'm content with it. Thank your for giving me the best four years of my life and sorry I couldn't do this earlier. If I did then... you'll be...

I should leave now. I hope you win. I love you."