Everything is Real.
Dear pre-relationship Dilly, how are you doing? I understand that you are undergoing assorted feelings right now—what with Almost Love, the general animosity that you have towards whom you had spawned from, the overall distrust over the uncertainty that you face on every facet of life, and your underlying impatience for anything to happen. The advice that I could give you is just to hold on, everything that you cannot decode will sort themselves out soon, because you see, I am in a reciprocated romantic relationship for a year and a half with someone whose being is so beautiful and strong.
However, there are a few things that people forgot to mention whenever they advice younglings about romantic love and romantic relationship. Especially when it comes to experiencing various tumultuous emotions. Things are no longer exquisitely bittersweet enough for it to be enjoyed as a masochist self-pleasure that could be poured into numerous writings to come up with varied conclusions. Instead, it comes in different servings, all of it very much real and none of it requires me to disappear into my own headspace.
Nonetheless, I would like to share with you some of the things that I have learnt for the past one and a half year being in a relationship where we exchanged everything that's real:
- There will no longer be anything to write about, especially everything that is consisted of your imagined, glorified, melodramatic, and romanticized woes. Your writing will no longer be tinged with sadness and nostalgia. You will be too busy feeling everything, experiencing everything, and enjoying everything to stop and wonder whether everything is not a product of your own imagination.
- Everything is real. What you are feeling, experiencing, and blessedly enjoying are no longer fictional. His love, his lips, his arms, his laughter, his beard, his scent, his humour, his declaration of love, his friendship, his interests, his dislikes, his hatred, his demons, and his pain are not imaginary.
- There is no pain akin to knowing that you can only stay in his sideline, watching him fight his own battles and tame his demons—that you are powerless when it comes to taking away his pain.
- As powerless as you are in terms of battling his beasts, you are required to carry within yourself various types of strengths. One of the most utilised types of strength is the one where you have to embody for his sake whenever he is feeling down and weak; as he himself would don whenever its your turn to feel down and weak.
- There is no such thing as knight/dame in shining armours, however, there are humans. Humans with their pain, their various emotions, their exhaustion, their traumas, their hopes, their longings, their fortitudes, and their vulnerabilities. Humans that experience everything at different paces, rate, and timing. You and him are two of those humans. These experiences are more real because you have each other to retell the tale or even shared.
- There is no end to skinhunger. The satiation to skinhunger can only be experienced during the act of alleviation. Sometimes it is even possible that the intensity of your desire is higher right after you alleviate it. Such misery is eminent.
- Romantic love consists more about care taking and sharing experience rather than those sweet moments that you oft see on moving pictures.
- The very reason why you are in a relationship with him is the fact that he is the best candidate that you could fight the world's problems with—and the fact that you and him would never fight each other, both of you would fight to solve the problems instead.