Unearthing

Wednesday, January 9, 2019 Comments Off

I used to not know what I would do with romantic love if it ever comes.

Would I gather my past, put it in a pandora's box and present it to romantic love to be butchered, dissected, and mangled in any way they see fit? Would I overthink every minuscule gesture that romantic love perform? Would my insecurities and unbelief towards myself hinder and halt the natural progression of our dynamics? Would my need for constant reassurance and quality time potentially becomes the reason why we fall apart? Would my clinginess and skinhunger become some sort of obstacle to move our relationship further?

All it took to answer every question that came from the inherently worrywart part within me was one specific guy. In a really short period, he had become one of very few people in this world who could understand and tolerate my way of thinking. Every doubt that I have about my disability in exploring the possibility of love or even experiencing it was obliterated in a deliberate manner.

It is true that navigating a new romantic relationship is not an undemanding odyssey since it encourages us to communicate with one another due to our zero historical similarities—which truthfully sometimes makes me doubt the durability of our relationship. However, I do not doubt the romantic love that we have for one another. Unlike with the previous cases, notably with The Impossibility, I feel secured in the feelings that we are experiencing. He reminds me that romance shouldn't incite unwanted feelings like insecurity, hurt, and doubt—all the undesirable feelings that I used to experience everyday during my venture with The Impossibility.

With his presence in my life, I feel the type of peace, contentment, kindness, and happiness that I have never felt with anyone else before. There are things that I discovered and rediscovered through his help—unearthing long lost things that were buried deep within the crux of my soul. The kind of stuff that I already knew yet needed a reminder of.

He amended many damaged established relationships that I have—including the one with myself. He pointed out positive aspects of them to be highlighted while also encouraging me to respect the humane bits of them all by acknowledging the tragic, grimy, dark, and bitter parts about being related to other humans in 21st century. By asking me to highlight the positive reels and accepting the unpleasant parts about my previously established relationships, he unpremeditatedly requires me to do the same thing with our relationship.

He reminds me to give space for each other to grow without necessarily sacrificing our time to be clingy and touchy. He makes me loudly proclaim my love to him whenever his demons are too loud. He bravely asks for my companionship whenever his soul needs to rest in order to receive constant reassurances. He lets me see his pandora's box by expressing his vulnerability, downfalls, and flaws. Our necessary kindness to each other has always with the intention of staying together and not letting each other go.

Because, after all, why would you let go of something that has only given you peace, serenity, contentment, and kindness?

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