Inevitabilities

I adore and admire honesty. It is quite unfortunate that there isn't abundance of it in this strange, cold world that we occupy.

Though, hearing something you've been fearing for all your life coming out of someone else's mouth as a confirmation that it was indeed true is a different matter entirely. My heart broke that day, it was too heavy with the realisation that what I am afraid of is actually substantial. It is one thing to acknowledge and be able to live with your demons inside your head, but it's another when someone actually notice that they are not just the products of your imagination.

For a moment there, I thought it was a full-blown irony that life seems to be an expert in. Yet, there can never be any irony in simple, pure truths, right? When it is laid as it is, without so much cynicism, prejudice, or even hatred. It was straight up truth, an idea solidified by other people's opinion.

I have accepted that fact, even though it was more in the form of recognising my fear. But, since someone has voiced it out loud, it felt more real. It felt like it was one of life's inevitabilities. A life sentence. Imprisoned with the truth, while you watch life unfolds before your eyes as you stand behind the bars. There is literally nothing that I can do, for once the truth is out, pulling it back in would only make the truth more recognisable. How can I even try to compete with the truth? Compete with the very existence that birth the truth? Truths always win. I have accepted that.

But it doesn't mean that the truth did not bleed me out.

It does not mean that it did not break me apart, rip my insides, and affect my being.

It does not mean that it did not make me want to be someone else.