Fast-Track Love

Perhaps the reason why us girls tend to romanticize love to the point of delusion and hallucinations is because the fact that all of the romantic-comedy these days tend to end happily. Don’t get me wrong, I endorse the happy endings with the same amount of devotion I have towards tea, but the thing is all of those love stories always give you the idea that having relationships (that includes the declarations of mutual love, mutual dislikes, adorations and admirations) can be gained briskly like those fast-track ticket you can have in those amusement parks. But the truth is, it’s not. Delusional or not, girls nowadays want those fast-track love, like those that the media has recently created in the form of two-hours movies.

Especially when those girls realize that their friends—the seemingly uninterested in love and relationships or perhaps the unattainable due to their personal choice of being picky—are using their fast-track tickets and enjoying it. Can these girls actually survive?

And what about the girls that want to take the relationship in normal pace? The girls who enjoy living it in the right way? Where can they get their share of love? Where can any single girls, with any personal preferences, get their match nowadays? Where can I find my match? And when I have found it, what should I do with it when it does not want to have anything to do with me, or when it actually decides to leave? What should I do when I decide I have enough of trying (and fighting)? What should I do when the world decides that any kind of love (be it fast track, normal pace, or even a la Carrie Bradshaw one) is not for me? Is there any way to just know what would you get in the future? Is there any way to revoke your God-given ability to have the hope of having love?

It’s a waste of time and feeling. I can’t keep on mulling over something that has not happen or something that would not even happen any time soon (or ever). It is deterring everything, especially my learning. These songs could not help me anymore as lately the reality is much stronger than those thoughts-numbing songs, I can still hear the wheels in my head turning. How can I be one of those women that do not think about anything but work? How can I be a part of people that constantly have their self-destroying thoughts at bay? How can I stop destructing myself with my own thoughts? When can I stop plaguing myself with my mind that keeps thinking about how lonely my soul is? When can I stop fighting by myself?

What am I hoping for, exactly?