State Of Soul
I wish I could tell you how easy my days went by. How the days of my teenage years went by as smooth as Hollywood actresses' hair. How there was no, in any terms available, bumpy or rough road that I passed by. But no, that would count as lying, as the days I went by were rough and tough.
Why?
Because the hole in my chest spread even larger everyday, slowly, but surely and there was no way back, as it spread like a malignant disease. I suppose this disease is one of the main problems the modern days have. Modern society, disregards underdeveloped countries, no longer have problems with physical diseases, no longer have problems with poverty, but instead we, as a new generation, developed diseases that no longer in the state of physical problem, but in the state of human mind. We use drugs as a way to escape our problems in our heads, just like human did in hundred years back. Our problems, nowadays, come from our heads, our own state of mind.
Loneliness, bitterness, feeling depressed, anxiety and all similar negative feelings came from, unfortunately, our own minds. We are the one who choose to be sad, the ones who choose to be depressed, we are our own enemy.
In addition to our often pessimistic way of seeing life, there is also what I called the illness of the society, the bitter rumors they spread. The society, who often bears negative view in seeing life, most of the times influence our minds. The society controls our minds. The society decides our decisions. Therefore, the society decides whether or not we are categorized acceptable in their high superiority they called as community. It is hard to accept the truth that the society controls our mind, that we don't have our own voices anymore.
My state of mind is bitter and cold. The state of my heart is devoid of any emotions. It is ugly how a society can turn a person into. How a society can deject a person who tries so hard to be accepted in the said community. That person is not me though, but it can be any of you out there, struggling to be accepted in a society who thinks that it doesn't need you.
There is nothing inside of me. Nothing.
My heart just does not exist.
In seeing other people, I'm an optimist, but in seeing myself, I'm a pessimist.
Why?
Because the hole in my chest spread even larger everyday, slowly, but surely and there was no way back, as it spread like a malignant disease. I suppose this disease is one of the main problems the modern days have. Modern society, disregards underdeveloped countries, no longer have problems with physical diseases, no longer have problems with poverty, but instead we, as a new generation, developed diseases that no longer in the state of physical problem, but in the state of human mind. We use drugs as a way to escape our problems in our heads, just like human did in hundred years back. Our problems, nowadays, come from our heads, our own state of mind.
Loneliness, bitterness, feeling depressed, anxiety and all similar negative feelings came from, unfortunately, our own minds. We are the one who choose to be sad, the ones who choose to be depressed, we are our own enemy.
In addition to our often pessimistic way of seeing life, there is also what I called the illness of the society, the bitter rumors they spread. The society, who often bears negative view in seeing life, most of the times influence our minds. The society controls our minds. The society decides our decisions. Therefore, the society decides whether or not we are categorized acceptable in their high superiority they called as community. It is hard to accept the truth that the society controls our mind, that we don't have our own voices anymore.
My state of mind is bitter and cold. The state of my heart is devoid of any emotions. It is ugly how a society can turn a person into. How a society can deject a person who tries so hard to be accepted in the said community. That person is not me though, but it can be any of you out there, struggling to be accepted in a society who thinks that it doesn't need you.
There is nothing inside of me. Nothing.
My heart just does not exist.
In seeing other people, I'm an optimist, but in seeing myself, I'm a pessimist.