Though It Hurts To Make It On Your Own

Nothing feels better to me than the sun when it meets the ocean at the early spring. Already bright, but still caught the dark from the last winter. Its breathtaking. And the mixed-up smell. I never lived near the beach when it happens, but I can imagine its unique scent.

And the truth is, my mood kinda mix of those feeling. There are some parts that bright, filled with happy things and fun things. But the others... they are still cold. Sometimes I couldn't bear it. When I couldn't, I yelled. I complained.

And forgive me, mon ami, if I yelled at you for some reason or no reason at all. Life is making me mad and helpless, pointless. If it isn't because of random awesome things like music and books and great laughs from friends, I wouldn't survive.

"I got a broken smile and arrogant lie." is pretty much what happens to me lately. Its what I called reality. Nothing beats the sudden decrease mood of mine. Really, nothing. I hope life gets better. I hope. Surely hope.

I know I whines a lot. Like a real lot. But this because I'm not the kind of girl that you can find nodding to the rules, I'm the kind of girl that goes out of those rules, not really break it but just, not really doing it. I realized that I'm not the kind of girl that could go to the formal school and study things, I don't memorize things, I understand things; but its too late now. I'm 15 and an 11 grade student, its irreversible now.

Best wishes,

D

PS: I miss the sea. A lot. Help?